I generally share a lot from my personal life on the ol' blog, and so many of you may already know about my health problems. One of the biggest issues is the effect of stress from work and life that has impacted me in a negative way. Unfortunately, I had a very bad week, and the stress carried over into the weekend. I usually try not to allow the stress from work to come home with me, but this time it did. I didn't sleep well all weekend, and I had a hard time thinking about anything other than the issues I was dealing with on Friday.
I use my father as a sounding board, and since Mom & Dad invited us over for dinner today, it provided an opportunity to share with him the things that were overwhelming my mind. I kind of snapped and unloaded on him. That's not to say I took out my frustrations on him. I just broke down and shared everything with him. The conversation was good for me (I'm not sure about Dad), and I love him for allowing me the opportunity to talk about things and get them off my chest and out of my system. I usually feel better afterward. And while I'm going to have a lot to discuss with my boss tomorrow, and that stresses me out, too, at least now I have a plan.
I took on a lot more responsibility last year, doubling the number of employees I manage, including a team located in a different facility. It's those employees who require the bulk of my time and are the source of my stress. Without going into details, I'm trying so hard to prevent a powder keg of issues to blow up, but it requires me to walk on eggshells most of the time. Even though I only have 20 employees there, they take up about 80% of my time (I have almost 100 employees at our other facility). Many of the issues there have been in existence for years, and they were never resolved. Now I have to deal with them, and the expectation is that I will take care of them.
Is it fair that I've been given this responsibility? My boss actually asked me that. I've made no secret of the fact that it's weighing on me, but I've told her repeatedly, as rough as it is, I'm up for the challenge. I come from the school that says you don't admit you can't do the job. But, because of my health issues, particularly related to stress, I'm concerned that if I don't do something, I risk something worse.
So I'm completely stressed out going into tomorrow. I need to talk to my boss tomorrow about all of this stuff, and I don't know how it's going to go. In the meantime, I'm praying. I'm praying that God will be with me now, overnight, and tomorrow, through everything I need to do. This is something I haven't done enough of. He is there for me, and I need to give it all to Him. I don't know why I don't do that more often. It ultimately makes all of the difference.
Thanks for reading. Have a great evening!