Monday, September 22, 2014

The Gourmet

I don't consider myself a very good cook.  I'm barely able to get by with the basics, and sometimes the basics give me a run for my money.  The last time I reheated some leftover pizza, I ended up burning it.  My Keurig makes a lousy cup of coffee.  When I drop my toast with peanut butter, it always lands on the floor peanut butter down.  Even ordering carryout turns into an adventure...the last time I had Chinese carryout, I got Sweet and Sour Chicken instead of Kung Pao.  That said, I have a very good recipe for chili, which sometimes offsets my lack of cooking skills.  I can occasionally get it right.  But I struggle most of the time, which is why we go out to eat so often.  But tonight I was on top of my game.  I had a masterpiece of a dinner to prepare, and I was happy to present it to my not-so-picky daughter.  I even had veggies.

I started out by stripping clean a rotisserie chicken and I placed all of the breast meat in a small bowl on the counter.  Next, I sliced squash, zucchini, and mushrooms, basted with butter and a dash of Greek seasoning.  I placed them on a cookie sheet and prepared to broil them in the oven.  Finally, I heated up some pasta.  Things were going pretty well when I went to drain the water from the pasta.  I got a little lazy and didn't really have a good handle on the pan, and I dumped about half of the pasta into the sink.  Before I could grab it and try to save it, I lost it down the drain.  Strike one.  As I went to place the sheet of veggies into the oven, I bumped the bowl with the chicken, and the bowl went flying onto the floor, landing face down.  I quickly gathered it up and went to the sink to rinse it off.  Unfortunately, this meant the seasoning on the chicken was washed off, and the meat got a little soggy.  Strike two.

It was about this time that Faithful Pup Scout decided she needed to go outside.  It was poor timing, and I told her so.  She didn't seem to care, and she proceeded to not use her "inside bark" and instead began barking horrendously to get me to take care of her RIGHT THAT SECOND.  I scooped her up like a football and we headed down to the basement so I could send her out into the backyard.  She quickly decided the grass in our yard was too high and she ran to the neighbors yard.  I took off after her and despite my attempts to grab her, she proceeded to do her business, #2 I might add, in their yard.  Since I didn't have any waste bags, I decided to use a large leaf to scoop it up.  As soon as I attempted to pick it up, the leaf crumbled and, yes, I ended up with a handful of you-know-what.  Strike three.  Scout trotted back inside without missing a beat.

It was at that moment that I remembered the veggies broiling in the oven.  I ran back into the house, headed to the laundry room to wash my hands, then ran up to the kitchen.  I know what you're thinking.... You're thinking I burned the veggies.  Well, you're wrong.  They were slightly crispy, but they actually came out fairly well.  The dinner wouldn't be a total loss.

I gathered everything together on a couple of plates and called down my wonderful daughter, and we had a really nice, albeit slightly soggy, chicken dinner with pasta and veggies.  It was the best meal I've had all week (though it's only Monday).

Have a great evening, everyone!


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks for the vote of confidence! Aside from the soggy chicken, it wasn't half bad. Which means it wasn't half good, too.