82

82.  Eighty-two!  82 is the atomic number of lead.  82 is the code for international direct dial phone calls to South Korea.  82 is the ISBN Group Identifier for books published in Norway.  82 is the number of regular season games for the NBA and NHL.  82 is also the number of games a Major League Baseball team must win to have a winning season.  And that is why 82 is significant.

Last night, against the Texas Rangers, the Pittsburgh Pirates won their 82nd game of the season, the first time they have reached this number signifying a winning season since 1992!  That's 20 years!!  That's a major American sports record for losing.  For ineptitude.  For pathetic.  For embarrassing.  That's what Pirates' fans have been experiencing for 20 years:  embarrassing, pathetic, inept losing.  But now the streak is over.  The Pirates are once again winners!  Oh, what a glorious feeling!

The Bucs won their 81st game on September 3.  Pirates' fans began to get excited, believing 82 was just around the corner.  They then lost the next game.  Then they lost again.  And again.  And yet again!  And Buccos' fandom began to become disenchanted.  The snake bit franchise might just fall completely apart yet again and not win another game this year.  And there would be a collective sigh across all of Western Pennsylvania and everywhere else Pirates fans have spread out across this country, as they grumble here we go again.

Last night, the Pirates were in Arlington, Texas, to take on the Rangers, a team with the exact same record as the Bucs but without the horrendous string of losing.  The Rangers started one of their star pitchers, a man named Yu Darvish, who came to the US from Japan almost 2 years ago and who has pitched amazingly well.  The Pirates started their highly touted rookie pitcher, young Gerrit Cole, who has had quite a good year, overall, since the Pirates brought him up from the minors.

Both pitchers were doing well last night, and both had shutouts going until the top of the seventh.  The Pirates' superstar, Andrew McCutcheon, struck out leading off, and Justin Morneau followed with a ground out.  Marlon Byrd then hit a double, and the Pirates had something going.  Pedro Alvarez then followed with a double of his own, scoring Byrd.  It was the only run either team would score in the game, and the Pirates hung on to win!

I'm not sure I can describe the feeling of finally getting the monkey off our collective back.  Again, this streak of losing has gone on for twenty years!  Cole, the Pirates' young pitcher, was only four days old when the streak began!  20 years is almost half my life!  Two decades.  That's just so hard to comprehend.  1992 was Bill Cowher's first year as the Steelers' head coach, for goodness sake.  

Well, in case you can't tell, I'm pretty stoked about this whole thing.  Unfortunately, given that the Bucs are competing for a playoff spot, just finishing with a winning record isn't enough.  Maybe it's because of how long it has taken the Pirates to have a winning season, and the fear of them returning to their losing ways again if they don't have success this year.  Whatever.  I hope they can hang on and be successful this year.

So if you don't have a team to root for, or your own team isn't going to make the playoffs, jump on the Bucs' bandwagon and let's ride into the playoffs.  In the meantime, celebrate with the end of losing baseball in Pittsburgh.  82 wins sure feels great!

Have a great evening, everyone!

Church and Conflict

I mentioned bad news in my post from a few days ago, and I've had a little more time to think about it.  I actually wrote this post several days ago and sat on it.  I wasn't sure I wanted to send it out.  I guess my point here is that conflict happens everywhere, even within the church.  I just don't know how to resolve it.

I haven't been able to figure out why conflict and religion seem to go hand in hand, but it has been present in every church I've attended.  The church I grew up in had a major split over the pastor (half loved him, including my family, but the other half wanted him to leave).  It was really hard for me, at the time a senior in high school, to see people I respected behaving so childishly, to the point that sides were yelling at each other over the situation.  I had never seen someone shout at my father until then.  It was so ugly.  Interestingly, the matter faded just a few months later when my family was involved in a car accident that killed my grandparents.  My mother was the church secretary, and my father was the youth director and church treasurer at the time.  But several months later, the disagreements escalated dramatically again and the pastor elected to leave.  That was the first time my family changed churches, and it was hard on us.  To this day, my parents have never gotten involved in another church like they were at that one.

Much later, my wife and I were active at our church in Rockville, running the drama ministry and getting very involved in quite a few other programs.  My in-laws were also very involved, with my mother-in-law being the pastor's executive assistant, and my father-in-law leading the largest Bible study at the church.  As it turned out, our pastor was surprisingly engaged in some criminal activity regarding the finances of the church, and was forced to resign.  My cousin was married to the pastor's daughter, and his name was dragged into the whole mess.  My in-laws were also very involved in the care of the pastor's two youngest kids.  It was hard for us to just stand by while this was going on, though we certainly weren't supporting the pastor.  However, due to our connection to the pastor's family,  we became as ostracized as the pastor's family from the church.  In fact, my wife and I were stripped of leading the drama ministry without any notice or reason.  We soon left since it had become too uncomfortable for us to continue to be a part of that community.

In both of the above cases, while very different situations, the churches were never the same, and both eventually became shells of their former selves.  The conflicts were death knells for these churches.  And it's a shame.  You might think, since Christ-followers follow the teachings of Jesus, they would be above this kind of conflict, but, in fact, conflicts tend to be even more destructive in the church.  It's a poor reflection on true Christianity.  Yes, we're all human, and conflict just seems to be a part of life, but it's just so sad when it happens in the one place where you might think should be immune.  Especially when the result is chasing away people instead of hearing their issues and trying the resolve the conflict before it escalates.

At one point, early in my college career, I debated whether to enter the ministry.  I felt God was leading me towards a change in careers, and I thought long and hard about whether that was the direction I was being led in.  I finally decided not to go in that direction, since my career as a cartographer seemed to be so much more enjoyable at the time.  I thought I would still be involved in church ministry, and that's true.  But I still encountered conflict.  And when it erupted, it was just easier to turn the other way and leave instead of possibly making the situation worse by fighting.

I don't know what the answer is.  To me, it doesn't make sense to keep fighting.  But it's also very difficult to leave a place where you feel comfortable.  I've done both.  When I stayed to fight, the situation only got worse.  It seemed to fester and became more and more uncomfortable as time went on, and finally it made more sense to just leave.  Leaving right away gives you the opportunity to leave on your terms.  I'm not saying that's the right thing to do, it's just the easiest.

As I said, I hate the combination of church and conflict.  I see it everywhere I've been, and it is the root of so much conflict over the centuries.  Wars are fought between people of different religions.  And we know from reading in Revelation that there will be conflict.  In fact, it's all over in the Bible.  I guess all we can do is turn the other cheek.

Have a great evening, everyone!

Make Time in Your Life For Youth

Working with youth is such a great experience.  Not only does it give you an opportunity to influence the next generation of young people, but you might also learn a thing or two.  Plus, it makes you feel young, while at the same time making you feel old.  But that's part of the experience.

I spent over a decade working with youth.  I say working, but it wasn't never work.  It can be challenging at times, but it is more often fun.  My experience was through several different churches.  I grew up at Bells United Methodist Church in Camp Spring, MD.  After graduating from being a youth myself, I continued to volunteer as a youth counselor at the church for another year and a half.  It was at that time that my family began looking for a new church to attend.  As happens at too many churches, there was a split in the congregation over the future of the pastor who lead the church for the past seven years, and when he left, we left, too.

I was a student at the University of Maryland, but as a commuter, and though my time was very busy with school and band, I still wanted to stay active in my church.  Too many churches at the time don't have programs for young adults, but the pastor at another church, Tom Kaylor, at Good Shepherd UM Church in Waldorf, MD, asked me to lead a young adults Bible study.  I'd never "taught" a class, but I gave it a try, and we had several devoted attendees.  I realized I really wasn't much of a teacher, though, and the class died a fast death.  My strength really was with youth.

At about this time, my younger brother was invited to attend a youth group by some old friends of ours.  However, their church was way out in Galesville, MD, on the South River, near the Chesapeake Bay.  It was kind of a hike, but I volunteered to shuttle my brother on Sunday nights, and I was invited to be a part of the youth ministry team there.  It was a wonderful experience, and I continued to volunteer there even after my brother graduated from high school.  I made a lot of great connections with the youth there, and with members of the church.  Galesville UMC was a wonderful, small town church family.  The distance was still a factor, and working a full-time job and with all of the driving I was doing, I really needed to find something closer to where I was living.

The youth director at my old church, Bells, called and asked if I would be available to help co-direct and act in a full-scale stage production/dinner theater.  So I did.  It was a another great experience, with a wonderful group of students.  The other counselors were about my age, and we immediately bonded.  Lisa was the youth director, and Diana, Scott, and Chris were all single young adults who brought different talents to the leadership of the group.  Once again, though, some old wounds were opened with some of the folks at the church, and within a year, Lisa decided to move to another church.

Cheltenham UM Church was a nice little country church, and Lisa was asked to take over the youth ministry there.  Scott & Diana decided to join her, and I did, too.  Once again, it was a great experience.  As much as you give to the church and to the youth, you get that much more back.  We spent a couple of years with the group, but I moved in the summer of 1997 and was too far away to be a part of the group anymore.

Within a year, I met the woman who became my wife, and I began to attend her church, Montrose Baptist.  It was a much larger church than anything I had ever been a part of.  Teresa was a member of the drama ministry and acted regularly during both big productions and Sunday morning sketches.  Because of my background, I was asked to participate, as well, and it was fun to be involved again.  Shortly after Teresa and I were married, the drama director left the church, and Teresa and I were asked to take it over.  We were the drama team leaders for several years and led, directed, wrote, and acted in many productions during that time.  It was an awesome time for us, but what was really great were the people we worked with.  It was a nice mix of young adults, older adults, and youth.  The youth, in particular, were incredible young men and women.  Grace was quite a talent, a beautiful young lady with a natural acting ability.  She did anything and everything for us.  In addition, Omar became a steady regular for us.  Omar was a bit of a comic, but it came very naturally, and transferred quite well to the stage.  He grew a lot during this time, and became better and better the more he was on stage.  Omar also had a love for the Lord like no one else, and it was infectious.  He's a remarkable young man.  I remember his father telling me how thankful he was for the drama team, and for giving Omar an outlet to use his talent.

Anyway, after a while, Teresa and I moved to Howard County and got involved at Grace Community Church and the drama team there.  Nine months later, though, Teresa had passed away and I was consumed with work and raising my baby girl.  Eventually, I got up my nerve to get involved in the drama team again, and did some acting on Sunday mornings, before the drama team folded.

But that isn't the end of the story.  In fact, my point in telling the story was how much the youth that I worked with impacted me.  While I'm currently not in touch with any of the kids (and I call them kids, but they are all adults now) from Bells, I am in touch with a few from Galesville, and even more from Cheltenham.  I'm also friends with Grace and Omar from Montrose.  In fact, I had lost touch with Omar for several years, and tonight I reconnected with him on Facebook.  He's still that awesome young man who loves the Lord.  It filled me with joy to hear from him.  He sounds like he's doing well.  But he said one more thing, which touched me more than anything.  "Every two weeks or so, I tried to find you on FB, but to no avail.  I'm so glad we could reconnect.  I really do love you, brother.  I'm thankful for ya."  And that's why working with youth is so awesome.  You never know how these kids are going to turn out, or if you're making a difference in their lives, but to get confirmation makes it so worth it.

Take some time to get to know the kids in your life.  Not just your own, but the ones in your community.  All ages.  You never know what kind of impact you might have on them.  Just being available to listen to them may be all you need to do.  And they may not even act like they care or acknowledge your presence in their lives, but I'll bet you can make a difference.  And, years later, you might get a note from that kid that you gave some time to, and they'll say thank you.  And it will make you feel awesome.

Have a great evening, everyone!

The Simple Things...

I find myself complaining about things more often than being thankful.  So I'm compiling a list, but it's by no means complete.

Things that I'm thankful for...

• a cup of delicious, chocolaty Ovaltine.
• a Three Stooges short with Curly (and not Shemp or Joe).
• instant sports results via my iPhone.
• lazy Saturday mornings with my sweet daughter and Faithful Pup Scout.
• a late summer evening drive with the top down.
• the start of football season.  Go Terps!  Here we go, Steelers!
• diners at breakfast.
• the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
• my Tivo.
• any movie starring Jimmy Stewart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAjDmw6IrFg

• Laura Benanti.

• maps.
• Oldsmobile 442s.
• pizza.  Any kind, really.  I've only met a couple of pizzas I haven't liked.

• almost five years of wonderful marriage.
• young love. Romantic love.  True love.  Godly love.  Past love.  Forbidden love.  Unrequited love.  Brotherly love.  New love.
• Pixar.
• the music and musicianship of Yes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDXccU0xgNo&feature=player_detailpage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UeigY-rzFk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W96mAe_PFQ

• October baseball.  Go Bucs!
• March Madness.
• awesome, loving, supportive parents.
• the City of Pittsburgh.
• the relaxing Saturday night service at Grace.
• a great message by Mark Norman, Mitchel Lee, Tom Kaylor, Jim Shirlen, or Chester "Pap" Freed.
• roller coasters, especially the Loch Ness Monster, Millennium Force, the Thunderbolt, Apollo's Chariot, and the Cyclone.
• New York City.
• Chipotle.
• Godzilla movies.

• women who respect themselves, but don't take themselves too seriously.
• faith.
• a great smile.
• our US servicemen and women.
• Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.
• "Take Five" and "Forty Days" by the Dave Brubeck Quartet and the incredible alto sax playing of Paul Desmond, my biggest musical influence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQLMFNC2Awo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGt0gQ5hjvA

• the Black Hills of South Dakota.
• road trips.
• western Maryland.
• snow!
• community.
• friendship.
• back and shoulder massages.
• health.
• happiness.
• God's love, grace, and blessings!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Off Night

Lots going on, but no time to dwell on it tonight.  Tomorrow night, like my Pirates (who were soundly beaten last night after all of my Pomp & Circumstance and will have to wait to try again at ending their dubious record), we return to action.

I'm dealing with disappointment on a number of different levels, including being downed by a rare late summer cold, I am constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop... I hate living my life that way, as I like to think of myself as a glass half full type of person, but given all of the stuff I'm dealing with, I feel like I need to be prepared and expectant of bad news. And I received several pieces of news that, from a purely selfish standpoint, I would define as bad news.  More tomorrow.  It's time to rest.

Sleeping tonight at Mom & Dad's and pulled the blankets back on the guest bed and one of those space alien-looking camel crickets jumped right at me from in between the pillows.  I think I just lost 10 years off of my life! Scared me close to death!  Faithful Pup Scout didn't even notice and is already snoring. Hope I'll be doing the same in a few minutes,  as soon as I get my heart regulated...

Have a great Friday, everyone!

Raise The Jolly Roger!

Today has the potential to be an historic day.  A major American professional sports record could very well be broken this evening, a record that has been 20 years in the making.  A few moments ago, nine members of the Pittsburgh Pirates Major League Baseball Club, a team that has been in existence since 1887, with five World Series wins and a who's who of Hall of Fame baseball players, including Honus Wagner, Bill Mazeroski, Roberto Clemente, and Willie Stargell, took the field in Milwaukee in a baseball game that, should they win, will clinch a winning season, and end twenty years of futility and losing, bringing a city with a long history of winning and championships in several professional sports, back to the winning side of the baseball standings.  Yes, the Pittsburgh Pirates will once again be a winning team!  Let the trumpets sing, let the bells ring, release the hounds, the Bucs are back!!!

The string of futility began after the completion of one of the most heart-wrenching sports moments in history, on October 14, 1992.  It is painful how well I can remember the details.  Just a few days before, I and a boatload of family members were fortunate to be able to attend Game 5 of the National League Championship Series in Pittsburgh, at old Three Rivers Stadium, where we watched our Pirates beat the Atlanta Braves to take a three games to two series lead.  The series would continue in Atlanta.  Game 6 was won by the Braves, forcing a Game 7, with the winner going on to the World Series.

My Dad and I watched the game in our rec room at our old house in Upper Marlboro.  We felt pretty confident that our team would win.  We had Cy Young award winning pitcher Doug Drabeck pitching, and he was awesome!  The Pirates jumped to a 2-0 lead and held on going into the bottom of the ninth inning.  What happened next was not expected, and broke the hearts of Bucs fans everywhere.

Doug Drabeck was still pitching going into the 9th.  The Braves 3, 4, & 5 hitters were up.  Terry Pendleton led off with a double.  David Justice was next, and he hit a weak ground ball to sure-handed Pirate 2b Jose "Chico" Lind, who booted it.  The Braves had men on 1st and 3rd with none out, and the winning run came to the plate:  Sid Bream.

Bream had spent several years previously as the Pirates' first baseman, and was my favorite player on the team.  An awesome individual, he had battled through knee injuries and the Bucs decided to let him go when he became a free agent, and he signed with the Braves.  Now he was in a position to help his new team beat his former team.  He was hardly 100%, and was hobbling due to his gimpy knees.

He came to the plate with a chance to win the game.  Drabeck, who was making his third start in eight days and had thrown 125 pitches, walked Bream on four pitches to load the bases.  Pirates' manager Jim Leyland decided it was time to go to the bullpen, and hard-throwing closer Stan Belinda was brought in to hopefully slam the door shut and take the Pirates to the World Series.

Belinda faced Ron Gant, and Gant hit a sacrifice fly to score  Pendleton and cut the Pirates' lead to 2-1.  Catcher Damon Berryhill came to the plate, and after several questionable called balls, Berryhill walked.  Brian Hunter was next and he promptly popped out to Lind.  There were now 2 outs, the bases were loaded, and the score was 2-1.  Bob Walk, the Pirates' veteran pitcher who pitched in Game 5, the one we saw live, was up in the bullpen warming up.  Belinda stayed in the game.

The Braves only had one more hitter still on the bench, Francisco Cabrera.  Cabrera had only batted a dozen times all season.  It would come down to him.  Win, lose, or tie, this was it.

The story has it that Andy Van Slyke, the Pirates' gold-glove center fielder, motioned to Barry Bonds (yes, that Barry Bonds), who was in left, to slide over closer to the line.  Bonds responded by giving Van Slyke the finger.

On the fourth pitch, Cabrera hit the ball into left field, close to the line, just as Van Slyke predicted.  Bonds, who didn't have the best arm, fielded it and threw it towards the plate.  In the meantime, Justice scored easily to tie the game.  Gimpy Sid Bream was held at third by the third base coach, but he ran right through the stop sign.  Bonds' throw was off the mark, but catcher Mike LaValliere caught it and reached for Bream to apply the tag a split second too late as Bream scored and the stadium went bonkers.

My dad and I stared at the TV in disbelief.  I couldn't believe our Bucs had lost.  I felt like I had been punched in the gut.  Dad immediately turned off the TV.  I slammed my fist into the wall (no damage to the wall or my hand, fortunately), and walked into my room, laid down on the bed, turned off the light, and stared at the ceiling for the next few hours.  I felt horrible.

That's not the end of the story.  The Pirates lost several more free agents, including Drabeck and Bonds, then had their worst season in a long time.  Soon, Leyland asked out of his contract and he left, then the Bucs were sold to new owners who threatened to move the team, and they just kept losing.  Year after year, for twenty years, they were laughing stocks.

Until now.  Now they have an opportunity to rise back to greatness.  Not only can they clinch a winning season tonight, they are in first place in their division and could be on their way to the playoffs!  But let's take it one step at a time.

Jose Tabata, Neil Walker, Andrew McCutchen, Justin Morneau, Marlon Byrd, Pedro Alvarez, John Buck, Jordy Mercer, and pitcher Francisco Liriano are the players on the field for tonight's game against the Brewers.  I'm hoping for an end to the curse of losing.

Let's raise the Jolly Roger, Buccos!  Bring a winner back to Pittsburgh, the City of Champions!

Have a great evening, everyone!

Miscellaneous Randomness

Had to get some groceries tonight, so my daughter and I ran over to Wegman's.  You would think a store that size would have just about everything you could imagine, but I find it frustrating that there are so many things I can't find.  I actually had to go to my local Weis to get the miscellaneous stuff that I couldn't find at Wegman's.  And maybe that's the issue:  I can't find it.  Wegman's is just so doggone big that it may be that I just can't find what I'm looking for.  As much as I like Wegman's, it sure is frustrating.

***

When a nicely attractive young woman who is likely single (she wasn't wearing a ring) repeatedly locks eyes with you aisle after aisle, is she showing her interest?  Maybe I've got broccoli stuck in my teeth...

***

My daughter and I went to Cheeburger Cheeburger for dinner just before our shopping spree.  We love that place, but tonight I wasn't impressed with our service.  I'm not sure our server could've gotten more things wrong.  For example, we got a grilled chicken breast when my daughter clearly asked for chicken fingers...  Fries instead of the requested apple sauce...  A portabella mushroom instead of sauteed mushrooms...  A large-sized milkshake instead of a kid-sized....  I'm pretty sure the problem was an inexperienced server, but it was laughably ridiculous.

***

My fantasy football draft was a mixed bag.  I didn't get any of the players I targeted, but that's usually how it goes.  I got a few risky picks, as well.  For example, I took a chance on Robert Griffin III.  I just hope he gets cleared to play.  For the locals, I also picked up Joe Flacco as my back up in case RG3 doesn't work out.  I picked up Arian Foster as my first pick, but then I got locked out of a run on good RBs.  I finally got Darren Sproles and Ahmad Bradshaw, but neither are big points guys.  I did much better at WR, including Dez Bryant, Julio Jones, Wes Welker, and Anquan Boldin.  I also got my favorite kicker, Sebastian Janikowski.  Beyond them, though, I'm not happy with the rest of my team.  It could be a long season.

***

I wish I had been able to experience the 50s.  It holds so much appeal to me.  The music, the atmosphere, the respect for authority....  My daughter and I watched all three of the BACK TO THE FUTURE movies and the taste we got of the 50s was so much fun to see.  Cheeburger Cheeburger brought a little more of a taste of the 50s, and right now I'm watching Happy Days, my favorite sitcom.  I think I was born at the wrong time.  I love that era.

***

I received a bunch of emails from JDate, a Jewish dating service.  And I'm not Jewish.  Maybe I need to spread my wings a little bit and consider this.  Jesus was Jewish, right?  I always did feel like I had a lot in common with Mary (Luke 10:38-42).

***

For the record, a slow dripping water faucet sounds a lot like footsteps upstairs in a supposedly empty house...

***

We made it through four movies at the Bengie's Drive-in on Saturday night.  Well, I made it through four...my little girl was semi-conscious through three movies and zonked out by the fourth.  The all-night dusk-to-dawn show was five movies, so we didn't stay for the whole thing, but we could have.  I was still wide awake well after five in the morning.

DESPICABLE ME 2 was the hit of the night.  It's a truly funny movie and has a lot of heart.  It picks right up where the first movie left off, but it's not imperative that you see the first movie to enjoy this one.  It was a lot of fun.

PLANES was a bit of a disappointment.  It did not carry the PIXAR logo, but it is a sequel of sorts to CARS (it's set in the same "world", anyway).  The story felt like a rehash of the first CARS movie, except I've never heard of a "plane race".  Realistically (and I know this is a fantasy, animated movie), there's just no way the story could really happen.  Suspension of disbelief is required.  But the movie doesn't have much heart (unlike most PIXAR movies), and I was disappointed with the result.  My daughter did enjoy it, though, and it's certainly not a bad movie.  My expectations were much higher, though.

RED 2 was more of the same thing we got in the first movie, RED, but just not as good.  The violence becomes gratuitous after a while, and I felt like I'd seen this movie many times before.  RED was so much better, and they should have just stopped after that.  A sequel just wasn't needed.

PACIFIC RIM was a lot of fun, as giant monster pictures go.  It felt like a Godzilla movie with more American actors, and the special effects were first rate.  There's a lot of suspension of disbelief is necessary, but due to the fact that the movie takes place in the future, it isn't as distracting as with other movies.  The actors were all unknowns to me, but that didn't take away from feeling invested in the characters.  I tend to like sci-fi monster movies, so I enjoyed it.  I'd been anxious to see this movie since it came out, and I'm glad to finally see it.

***

Time for bed.  Have a great evening, everyone!

Friends And Acquaintances

I just heard a quote today that made a lot of sense to me.  Here it is:  "It's important to have friends in this world, but you don't have to make room in your life for every person you meet."  There's a lot of truth to that.  My own version of that quote is, "I believe that it's not the quantity, but the quality of your friends that's important."  I've been doing some pondering and reflecting and I've realized that I really don't have a whole lot of quality friends.  In fact, I have very few.

I guess it's important when you're talking about such things to define the differences between a friend and an acquaintance.  To me, an acquaintance is someone you've met at some point in your life, who has played a role that is somewhat important enough that you would know them outside the part of your life that you know them best.  That might include a co-worker who you've socialized with, or a member of your church that you spend time with outside of a church function, or even someone from your past that you maintain contact with, such as from high school or college.  I'd say the vast majority of folks I'm friends with on social media, aside from relatives, particularly on Facebook, fall into this category.  Relatives fall into a completely different category.

My definition of a friend is similar, but somewhat more important in your life, someone who you have an emotional connection to in addition to where you know them from.  As I mentioned before, I have very few people in my life who fit this definition anymore.  In fact, I've steadily lost many friends over the past decade, which is a shame but is also a reflection of the direction my life has taken.

After I got married, I would say the number of friends in my life increased a lot.  It didn't include just those friends who I had prior, but also a number of my wife's friends.  We had "couple friends", other married couples who were similar to us and who we had much in common.  We could "hang out" with them, and do things with them.  It was kind of cool, actually.  When my wife died, that part of my life seemed to die with her.  I read about this phenomenon in a book.  When you lose a spouse, within the first year you will lose most if not all of those "couple friends".  And that's what happened to me.  Sure, I might see them occasionally, but they transitioned into the acquaintance category.  I was blown away at first, but then I picked up on why this happens, and I was okay with it.  Why does it happen?  Because you become a third wheel.  And I was okay with it because I didn't have that "couple" thing in common with them anymore.

Ironically, I thought it was odd to see many of my friends from before I got married return to my life.  A group of guys I used to hang around with all the time and who had almost all vanished shortly after I got married (other than one or two), came back to support me in my grief after losing my wife.  It was short-lived, however, since, as time has gone on, I realized that once I was back on my feet emotionally, they returned to their lives.  It hurt at first, because I do consider them close friends, but it's apparent that I cared more about them than the other way around.

I recently watched WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, and the movie espouses the belief that men and women can't be friends.  I think there's some truth to that.  And, in fact, it's something that I miss about having couple friends.  I think, if you're both in a strong marriage, it's actually kind of cool to be able to hang out with another couple, and actually be able to have a friendship of the opposite sex.  If one or the other is not married, or is not in a strong marriage, it probably isn't a good idea to explore a friendship with the someone of the opposite sex.  And if both are single, then it becomes somewhat awkward if one or the other feels any attraction to the other.  It that's the case, then it's hard to become friends.  It may even become to difficult if one feels that way about the other and it's not reciprocated.

Where does this leave me?  Well, I really don't have very many good friends.  I don't have what I would consider a "best friend" anymore.  My father kind of fits that definition more than anyone else, but it's a little bit different than just a best friend.  Unfortunately, now is one of those times in my life when I really feel like I need that best friend in my life.  The flip side is that maybe I'm just not that great a friend.  I'm obviously not sending out the right kind of vibe for attracting the type of people that can be good friends.  Finding good quality friends is not something you just set out and do, either.  It's such an organic thing.  It kind of just happens.

I hate being an introvert.  My boss is an extrovert and she recently shared with us how hard it was for her to have to move as often as she did while growing up.  But her personality allowed her to make friends easily.  I don't know if her definition of a friend is the same as mine, but, if so, I'm kind of jealous of her for being able to do that.  It goes back to what I said at the beginning of this post:  I really have very few friends than acquaintances.  I just don't have the right personality to attract people.

How different might our lives be if we all could tell the people in our lives how we really feel about them?  If you love someone, do you tell them?  Wouldn't it be great if that quiet but pretty young lady on the other side of the room who you've exchanged several glances with would just tell you they are interested in getting together with you?  Or if you could walk up to her and tell her the same thing?

So I'm taking applications for "best friend", c/o Sweet Daughter Melody.  Speaking of my daughter, she has no problem making new friends.  In fact, she has shown me that she can make friends with just about anyone.  She's pretty special.

Have a great evening, friends!

The Band

I was a band guy back in school.  I started playing the clarinet in 6th grade, after a little bit of pushing by my professional musician grandfather.  It took awhile to realize that the clarinet wasn't "cool", but I did find out that I had a knack for music.  Once I got into high school, I started playing alto saxophone, too, and found myself playing in several of the bands at school:  Marching Band, Symphonic Band, and Jazz Band.  It was in the Jazz Band that I had the most of fun.

Our band included Joe on guitar, Giles on guitar, Kirk on guitar, Randy on bass guitar, Dominic on drums, Andre on trumpet & keyboards, Wakene on sax, and myself on sax and clarinet.  Our band director, Mr. Lopez, played drums, as well.  We were quite a diverse group.  Joe & Dominic were into heavy metal music.  Kirk, my best friend in the band, was into traditional jazz.  I liked big band jazz.  Andre and Giles liked R&B.  Mr. Lopez played in a jazz trio.  Half the band was Black, half was White, and Mr. Lopez was Hispanic.  We were a pretty diverse group.  But we had a lot of fun.

Most of us had never performed in front of an audience.  That was a new experience.  Because of the make up of the band, we had a nice mix of instrumentation, which meant all of us (other than the guitars) could be looked at to take solos, which also was something new for many of us.  I remember, while trying to come up with a name for our band (which we never did do), my uncle suggested No Experience Necessary, which I still think was apt.  We were all out of our comfort zone, but eager to we a real band.  It was rough going at first, since we all had different tastes in music, but, amazingly, we started to sound pretty good.

Unfortunately for Dominic, he was completely brand new to playing the drums, and that became difficult for the rest of us.  We just didn't have the time of patience to wait for him to learn on the job.  He played several shows with us, but it soon became apparent that it wasn't fair to the rest of us.  This meant that Mr. Lopez ended up playing drums with us.  He was a professional, so it gave us a nice, solid foundation.  Randy, despite playing almost all year missing at least one of his bass strings, but a decent bass player, and so our rhythm section was pretty good.

Joe and Giles weren't great guitar players, but they could play the necessary chords mostly at the right time.  Kirk was a real talent, though, and of everyone in the band, he was the one we could actually call a star.  His personality didn't fit the role, but his playing was excellent.  He just had so much talent, and, really, he could play just about any instrument and play it well.

Andre wasn't a particularly great trumpet player, but he was decent on the keyboards.  Wakene was new to the sax, but he played without any fear, and he enjoyed himself more than anyone else.

Then there was me.  Aside from Kirk, I probably was the most experienced musician in the band, but I was still new to the sax.  My introverted nature kept me from the spotlight, too, and I had no desire to take solos.  I had no problem playing anything else, though.

Mr. Lopez originally had us playing from sheet music, but as the year went along, we started playing more and more original music.  It truly was a collaborative effort, too.  We all contributed to the music we played, and I think that made us unique.  Previous versions of jazz bands at the school, though much more solid, played very little original music.

Early on, Randy played a lick (bass line) from a song he heard one night late on the radio.  He didn't know what it was called.  Well, we took it and made it into a song we called "New Groove".  It turned into a bit of a mish-mash, but it was truly original, and something we could call our own.  But the first time we performed "New Groove" in front of an audience, with Dominic on drums, we got off-track and some of us were on the beat, and some of us were off a beat, and the whole thing almost fell apart before coming together at the end.  The audience, mostly made up of parents and classmates, didn't know what to make of what they just heard, and we knew we had totally messed it up, but we got a nice ovation.  But we could do that.  We might start with just a small piece of something one of us heard, and we would build on it, layer it, develop it, and play the snot out of it until it sounded cool to us.  Then we'd perform it live in front of an audience and we always got great feedback.  It was pretty awesome.

About halfway through the year, we had a pretty developed repertoire, and we were performing a show about once a month.  It was about this time that Kirk had been playing around with some pretty unusual scales and chords, and that led the way to a guitar melody he developed and shared with us.  As usual, we started playing around with it and it became the basis of a pretty cool song.  We called it "Arabian Sunset".  For something really different, I played my clarinet instead of the sax, and tried to get an English Horn sound.  It certainly was unusual.  But it also led me to having to play my first solo, and I was a nervous wreck.  When we finally performed it, I actually did better than I thought I would, and it filled me with confidence.  The song itself, with Kirk's unusual melody, and spectacular guitar solos, made it a hit, at least to us and our invested audience.  Having Mr. Lopez playing drums made it pretty solid, too.  The clarinet actually worked on this song, though it hindsight, I'm not sure it was the best choice.

Anyway, we really had a blast, and it made us "mini-celebrities" at school.  Kirk and I continued to play together after high school for a few years, but eventually there just wasn't time for us to get together, which is a shame.  But, now I'm trying to get my daughter interested in band and she is actually showing interest in the clarinet.  I'm looking forward to seeing if this goes anywhere.  Anyway, band is pretty cool.

Have a great evening, everyone!

Dusk to Dawn at the Bengies

Tonight's blog is postponed due to the dusk to dawn show at the Bengies Drive-in!  Playing tonight are DESPICABLE ME 2, PLANES, RED 2, PACIFIC RIM, and WE'RE THE MILLERS.  Will we last for the whole, all night show? Doubtful. I had a nap this afternoon, so I'm feeling good right now. My darling daughter will likely be passed out by the end of the second movie!

They're doing another all-night show tomorrow night, so come on out and enjoy a night at the drive-in!

Have a great evening, everyone!

Fantasy Football

Missed an opportunity to work on a post for the blog tonight.  I'm a fantasy sports addict and I spent the evening studying and getting ready for my fantasy football league draft, which is taking place on Sunday evening.  Fortunately, my research is much less involved than for fantasy baseball.  Baseball is much harder, with many more players, and daily changes due to games taking place almost every day for six months.  Football uses about half the players and the games are only once each week.  That makes a huge difference.

But I still have to study.  The desire to win is strong.  The stakes are huge.  My competitors in my baseball league are more or less strangers, not people I even know.  Everything takes place online.  But with my football league, we are all family, and though there is no money involved, bragging rights are a big deal.  It doesn't help that our commissioner is my cousin JJ, who had actually made a career in the fantasy football industry.  Check out his website if you get the chance:  http://lateroundqb.com/

Have a great evening, everyone!  Go Steelers!

The Great 2013 Spider Invasion

I hate spiders.  I hate snakes, but I don't see as many of them as I do spiders.  I don't get all girly and scream or anything when I see one, but really big ones, like the ones I found outside my house tonight, make me cringe.  So I'm not panicking yet, and don't call out the Marines, but.... I believe the Great Spider Invasion of the Summer of 2013 (I may have to shorten that for marketing reasons...) has started!

I'm currently on the "web" (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha) trying to figure out what we have here.  There are three of these suckers hanging out next to my front porch.  That is one big honking web!

Will The Steelers Be Good or Bad?

Baseball season isn't over in Pittsburgh, an odd thing for the Pirates in August over the past 20 years.  They are still in the thick of things, and the playoffs are within their reach.  Their great play has overshadowed for the first time in recent memory the start of the Steelers season.  Football never takes a backseat to baseball in Pittsburgh, so with the start of the season, focus will undoubtedly shift over to the Steelers, at least on Sundays.  With that, I read a great preview of the Steelers 2013 season over at Sean's Ramblings, a blog I read regularly and enjoy.  Check it out!

There are a lot of young guys on the Steelers team this year who could make an impact.  Jarvis Jones, the first round draft pick linebacker, had all of the makings of a big play defender, much like the guy he is likely replacing, James Harrison.  He seems to be in the middle of the increase in turnovers in the preseason.  Troy Polomalu is looking like the Troy of old, and will make last year's #1 defense just as strong.  The secondary has been a strength for this team, especially at safety.  Ryan Clark has played well, as has CB Ike Taylor.  If Cortez Allen can lock down the other corner, the Steelers will be hard to pass against.  The defensive line is going to have to be the difference maker, though, with Casey Hampton, the Nose Tackle for most of the past decade, now gone.  Hood and Heyward need to play better, and Woods and Ta'Amu need to clog the middle.  Pressure on the QB is the key on passing downs.  I expect the run defense to be solid.  Outside linebacker LaMar Woodley could make all the difference if he plays like he's capable and gets to the QB.  Jason Worilds, too, will have to get pressure on the QB, or he could be out of a job.  Timmons and Foots will be solid in the middle.

The offense has a lot of question marks, particularly on the offensive line.  It is very young and not very deep, but keeping Ben upright is a task they need to succeed at.  The passing game looks solid so far in the preseason, as Antonio Brown looks like the guy that was so impressive two seasons ago, and Sanders has to be up to being the #2 guy.  Cotchery, the veteran, is solid, but could be replaced by rookie Markus Wheaton, who has looked really good.  Derek Moye looks good, too, though he has played mainly against backups and rookies.  Tight End is going to be important, more for the the running game than the passing game.  Heath Miller is a question mark on returning from the devastating injury from last season, though it's hopeful he'll be back sooner than later.  TE David Paulson has looked good as a receiver, but he's not the blocker that Miller is.  TE David Johnson will be back, and that's a huge positive.  The running backs are battling injuries, and that makes the Steeler's offense look questionable.  Rookie Le'Veon Bell was expected to take over as the starter, but a foot injury has kept him from playing more than a few snaps this preseason, and LaRod Stephens-Howling, who looked so good in the first preseason game, is also injured.  There may be a running-back-by-committee for awhile, with Isaac Redman and Jonathan Dwyer, along with recently acquired Felix Jones, leading the way.  The Steelers should again have solid Quarterback play from Ben Roethlisberger, who is hitting his prime and looks to be healthy after being injured much of the past two seasons.  He looked very comfortable in the new Todd Haley offense for much of last year, and will likely be improved for this year.  But it's the health of the team that will either push them back into the playoffs or derail their season again.  Let's hope for the former.

As for my own prediction on the Steelers, I'm torn between reality and hopefulness.  I expect the Steelers to be competitive every year, but they have so many question marks leading into this season that it's hard for me to be too hopeful.  Reality is probably 9-7 and perhaps a playoff berth.  Hopefulness is more like 11-5, and maybe a division win. A lot depends on their health and, really, just how good the Ravens and Bengals aim to be.  If either struggles, and I can see the Ravens having a Super Bowl hangover that seems to haunt many teams after winning the Big Game, that may open the door for the Steelers.

Wins and losses don't mean anything in the preseason, but the Steelers, at 0-3, do not look like they have played very well, and that's a concern.  It would be a bad omen if they're out of it before the Pirates finish playing, but Pittsburgh might be satisfied with that.  A winning baseball season is big news.  I'm guessing football is still king, though, and the fans will be expecting good things out of the Steelers.  I'm one of them.

Have a great evening, everyone!

Back to School, Back to Work

One day, you feel like everything is going great.  The next, it feels like it's falling apart.  How quickly things can change...

Monday was a pretty exciting day.  It was the first day of school and my daughter was excited to go to her new class and see many of her friends.  It would also be her first with new responsibilities associated with being a walker, and while she was a bit apprehensive about it, knowing that so many of our neighbors would be walking with her, it wouldn't be a problem.

Monday was also my first day back in the office after being off for several days for our beach getaway.  Normally, that would be reason for me to be depressed.  Monday felt different, though, and I was anxious.  It was probably a result of my daughter's excitement about school.

Work started out a bit crazy, and it got worse from there.  Many of the things I had planned to do were usurped by bigger issues.  Most notably, I received my first grievance from an employee in my 9 years as a manager.  In addition, due to preparation for our manager's 2-day meetings on Tuesday & Wednesday, I had a lot of stuff that had to be completed before Tuesday.  Not an impossible task, but something to keep me more busy than usual.

I got out of work on time, and I was able to track my daughter on her route home and meet her at the halfway point, driving her home the rest of the way.  Our plan worked beautifully!  Once at home, our typical routine of homework and playtime, followed by dinner, worked just like clockwork.  We went to the grocery store after dinner to get a few important items, then back home we got ready and went to bed.

Tuesday was entirely different.  I headed to work a little bit later than usual, which was fine due to our manager 2-day meeting, which didn't start until much later.  There was an awards ceremony for our employees, who were going to get certificates of appreciation since we had no money for awards this year due to sequestration.  This resulted in a bitter sweet party since our appreciation is no substitute for money.  The manager's meeting was more difficult.  We tried an exercise in sharing some of our deepest secrets and issues, which resulted in a teary-eyed group.  The discussion continued deep into the afternoon, with the only break being lunch at our Chinese restaurant across the street, which was treated by our boss, and which we were deeply appreciative of.

I was pretty exhausted by the time we broke and I headed for Chick-Fil-A for dinner with my daughter and in-laws.  It was a nice way to end the day, however I also was given information about a rough morning my daughter had with my sister, due to her not getting enough sleep.  This is intolerable, and I immediately called my daughter on it.  Turns out, her new iPhone is causing her to play too much in the morning, as well.  New limits on phone usage and an earlier bedtime were the result.  Further issues will be met with punishment.  My daughter knows better than to act this way, especially so early in the school year, so hopefully this will make a difference.  I made her call my sister to apologize, as well, and I just as well could've sent her to her room for a year, given how hard that was for her to do.  She was embarrassed by her actions, that much was obvious.

Tomorrow is day two of our manager's meeting, and the hope is that it will be easier than today.  School, too, should be much better.  That's my hope.  Now, though, it's bedtime.

Have a great evening, everyone!

Coaster Summer Trip, Part 7: Hersheypark & Home

Our trip was nearing its end.  We left our Pittsburgh hotel and headed south to Uniontown, my father's hometown.  We had a bunch of relatives in town and it was fun getting the chance to visit everyone.  Dad had come up, too.  We chatted and caught up and ate and ate and ate.  My Aunt Sandi is a wonderful cook.

We stayed late into the afternoon, actually later than we intended, but we hit the road at around 5 p.m.  We headed northeast on US 119 to Connellsville, then headed east through the mountains, a very scenic trip.  We then joined up with the PA Turnpike and headed east.  We arrived near Hershey sometime around midnight, after many stops for snacks and dinner.  Then we crashed.

We got up as early as we could, had breakfast at the hotel, then headed for Hersheypark.  It was another stifling hot day, with temps in the upper 90s and heavy humidity.  Frankly, it was miserable weather, the third time in a week we had this kind of weather for our trip to an amusement park.  We made the best of it, though.  We rode the park's newest roller coaster first, Sky Rush.  It was quite a ride, and very enjoyable.  It climbs the first hill very fast, and has a lot of great dips and loops.  It seemed to be a long ride, too.  We followed that with a ride on the Great Bear, another fantastic inverted coaster.  I was feeling a little bit loopy, so we rode the turnpike cars so I could catch my breath.  Melody drove.  Then we took a ride on the Kissing Tower, a ride that terrified me when I was a kid because of how high it went.  It's pretty tame, though, and nicely air conditioned.

After a nice lunch, we rode the Trailblazer, an older steel coaster.  We watched a "game show" which featured the Hershey Kiss, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, and Hershey Bar characters, then took a walk to where a few more rides were located.  There, we rode the Wild Mouse, then the Wildcat, an aggressive wooden roller coaster.  That about wiped me out.  We were headed to a few more coasters when the skies became threatening and all of the rides closed.  We could see the thick, dark clouds and lightning.  We decided to head for Chocolate World and wait out the storm, but thousands of people had the same idea.  So, instead, we ran to the car and headed back to the hotel for a while.  The skies opened up just as we left the parking lot.

After a couple of hours, the storms moved out and we returned to the park.  It was noticeably cooler and we were able to get a few more rides in.  Reese's Extreme Cup Challenge was a neat ride-through shooting game.  We also rode the Comet, another great wooden roller coaster, just before the park closed.  We had another great day, though we missed out on a few other major coasters.  We'll just have to plan another trip.

After a long night, we came back to Chocolate World the following day and rode through the chocolate factory, made our own candy bars, took a trolley tour of the town of Hershey, did a chocolate tasting, and watched a 3D animated movie.  It was a great way to end our day.

We started home late in the afternoon, and finally arrived home just before it got dark.  What a wonderful trip!