It's amazing what a day can make...
After yesterday's post regarding how much God has been working in my life, and that I'm doing better health-wise, mentally, physically, and spiritually, than in quite a long time. I am feeling really good, and I know that the Lord is working positively to make me better. However, today was an interesting day. I had to present some bad news regarding a very big project to my boss.
The project, which had a completion date of October, 2014, will not be completed until March, 2015. This news was not received well. It has been a long time since I was last dressed down like I was today. It wasn't a pleasant experience by any stretch. Some of it was to be expected. Though I am only leading the project and not doing any of the actual work, it was handed off to me in December last year with high expectations. As the manager overseeing it, it's my responsibility. In fact, the original due date was January, 2015, and my boss changed this date to October '14. At the time, I knew this would be a challenge to achieve the new goal, but I agreed to present it to my employees working on the project. I was told by the project leaders that we could attempt to meet the new date, but it would be difficult. After spending the past several months trying to take steps towards completion, we realized that this could not be achieved. Even the original January date would be too difficult. The result is that the project was reassessed and the March '15 date was the earliest the project could be completed.
My boss was caught by surprise when she heard the news. She told me that there was no indication that we couldn't meet the original date, that everything was on schedule. I told her that we tried. But there were extenuating circumstances that caused us to reassess, and the date had to change. The reality is that we have made more progress in the last several months, even with the delays, than the past several years combined! I think that's what has me so disturbed. I wanted nothing more than to tell her that we were going to achieve our goals, but no one intentionally tried to delay it. The reality is that mismanagement prior to my receiving the project is what is causing the issues we're facing now, but I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus. What happened is in the past.
I was thinking about how I felt after my boss took out her anger on me. It's weighing on me a lot this afternoon. I started out feeling defensive, and then allowed myself to get angry, and then I felt guilty. I know this isn't my fault, and it would be easy to defer the blame to others, but it was my decision to extend the due date, so, in that respect, it is my fault. And that brings me down. But this is where God has been working in me. As I mentioned before, I've been feeling really good lately. If I wasn't, how much worse would I feel after today? It might have really taken me down. But because the Lord has kept me up, I'm not going to fall completely down. That thought has really helped me today.
I am so thankful for what He is doing in my life. He's an awesome God!
Have a great day, everyone!