Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Terps, Chili, Gas, and the Tooth Fairy

Whew! I'm trying to calm down after a very exciting if stressful basketball game on TV.  The Maryland Terrapins Women's Basketball Team beat the Louisville Cardinals 73-70 to go to the Final Four in Nashville, TN.  It was a rough game.  The Terps had to battle a raucous Louisville home crowd and a lot of bad calls by the refs (both ways).  I think it was totally unfair that the Cardinals were playing an Elite Eight game on their home court.  I'm relieved they pulled it out.  If the game had gone to overtime, I might have had a heart attack.  I take my sports WAY too seriously!


My office had a chili cook-off today.  It's our fifth annual.  If there's one thing I can make that's actually pretty good, it's chili, and it's one of the few things I feel justified in bragging about.  I have a recipe that has mutated over the years from good to great to award-winning championship chili.  I don't think it has ever been the same each time I make it.  I approximate so many of the ingredients.  Today's batch contained ground beef, beef brats, all of my secret seasonings, along with jalapenos, a touch of brown sugar, and my new addition, Angry Man salsa.

Angry Man salsa is made by former Pittsburgh Steelers running back Baron Batch, who makes it in his own kitchen.  He makes limited batches (ha!) of it every so often and jars and sells it to his fans.  It's really good!  It has a good taste, and a slow burn, nicely spicy.  After trying it the first time, I was convinced it would make a great addition to my chili recipe.

So I tried it.  And it won!  We had fourteen entrants this year.  Everyone gets a vote, and mine won by two votes.  And I had none left over.  My pot was cleaned out!


The next paragraph is really not for the faint of heart.  I apologize in advance for stating what may be obvious after a chili cook-off consisting of 14 different chilis, all of which were sampled by me.  I also just had a large glass of Ovaltine mixed in milk.

I am suffering from some pretty severe gas.  I've spent most of the evening blaming Faithful Pup Scout so my daughter wouldn't know.  But I can't keep it bottled up, and the odor in the room is getting very bad.  If my wife was still alive, it's possible she might have become asphyxiated by the smell while we sleep tonight.  In fact, after blaming the dog, I'm afraid she might want revenge.  All I know is I'm not feeling very well, and the only relief is release.


The Tooth Fairy has been trying to visit our home over the last several nights.  Typically, "he" brings $1 per tooth.  I think he struggled to fulfill his duties the first night due to forgetfulness.  Night 2 didn't happen due to tiredness.  Night 3, an attempt was made, but he had difficulties finding the tooth.  I forgot to mention my daughter has a bunk bed that is about six feet off the floor, and it isn't easy to see inside the bed.  So, for something new and different, it appears he made a visit this afternoon while my daughter was out playing with her friends.  There's no rule that says the Tooth Fairy has to wait until night fall.  Especially with the amount of gas floating through the house tonight.  The last thing I need is to asphyxiate the Tooth Fairy.  I'd never be able to explain that one.

Have a great evening, everyone!

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