Sex Before Marriage Is Okay?

I've tried to steer clear of sensitive or controversial topics on this blog because I don't want it to become the center of such things.  But every once in a while, I think it's necessary to shed some light on a topic that gets lost in many of the greater issues and debates that get all of the headlines.  In this case, it's pre-marital sex.

I find myself getting disappointed in a lot of things the older I get.  I really don't want to become a grumpy old man, especially since I don't consider 43 years to be old, but my "old fashioned" beliefs tend to fly in the face of what society deems to be "normal" or "okay".  It especially hit home after reading some comments from a blog post by a popular Christian author.  The post referred to the on-going Pro-Life versus Pro-Choice argument, but a portion of one of the points he was making had to do with pre-marital sex.  The exact quote is, "People are going to have sex before marriage. We have no right to control them. If we want to influence them, we can present to culture the beauty of marriage. That’s a more effective way to influence culture anyway."  While his words are admirable, are we just supposed to accept that people are going to have sex before marriage?

Am I making too much of this?  Is it really that big a deal?  Last I checked, the Biblical language on this subject hasn't changed. I Corinthians 7:2 - "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." And Hebrews 13:4 - "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Let me emphasize that I'm talking about following God's word on this subject, and am not judging others.  I'm questioning the acceptance of others having sex before marriage.

I guess I really must be old fashioned for believing others are following the Biblical lead on sex.  My wife and I thought we were doing the right thing by waiting until marriage to have sex.  We had both accepted Christ as our Savior while we were teens.  We were also both virgins when we married.  She was 27 and I was 30.  Yeah, that's a long time to wait, but was it worth it?  I would emphatically say yes.  I truly believe that if one is following Christ, then they know that this is something that Jesus would want them to do.

I shouldn't be surprised that society has accepted that it's okay to have sex outside of a marriage relationship.  Even recently, I've had prospective dates on dating websites, even Christian dating sites, expecting me to initiate a sexual relationship (and some don't even want to wait for me to initiate it!), and they are surprised to discover that I don't believe in that.  And just to be clear, I'm not a prude.  My wife and I had a very fulfilling sex life (as husband and wife).  But I had one date actually cry on the phone before we had even met because I told her I would not have sex with her unless we were married.  Another woman actually seemed to humor me and said, yes, it was okay if I wanted to wait, but I could tell she was taking it as some sort of challenge, and, knowing how I felt about this, she still tried to tempt me after one particular night out (it was our last date).  Has it really come to this?  I just don't understand why this is such an important issue with so many that they can't wait for marriage.

I guess I really must have had a sheltered life for believing that there are people who are not engaging in pre-marital sex.  I'm still surprised every time someone I know is pregnant or fathers a child outside of a marriage relationship, or if a couple decides to live together before getting married.  To me, this isn't okay, but it's not up to me to judge them.  I can only judge myself.

Too Much Sleep

Today was such a beautiful but frustrating day.  The weather was almost perfect.  I had a lot of things planned to take advantage of how nice it was, including dropping the top on the car and doing a bit of cruising.  There was Maryland Day at the University of Maryland in College Park, where there were numerous activities on campus.  We also were invited to join some of the extended family at the Celtic Festival in Southern Maryland, near Prince Frederick.

Upon picking up my daughter from a sleep-over at a friend's house, I found out that my plans were going to be changed.  My daughter had been up almost all night with her friends, and wasn't going to be able to function very well without a good amount of sleep today.  And that's what happened.  Lots of sleep and us doing nothing all day.  Again.  I feel like I've wasted two days in a row.

The only good news was being able to watch the entire NFL Draft.  I was very satisfied overall with how my Steelers did in the draft, and the players all seem to fit needs.  Hopefully they will live up to the expectations of Steeler Nation.

The weather is supposed to be pretty nice tomorrow morning, so we'll try again to get out and enjoy the day before the rain begins to enter the picture.  Of course, I'll have to get my girl to bed at a decent hour.  She's already wide awake as we approach 11 p.m.  Too much sleep today.

Sleep-overs and Furloughs

I sent my daughter off tonight to her first sleep-over.  She has spent the night numerous times at her grandparent's places, but this is the first time she's done this at a friend's house.  She was very excited.  She even got a new sleeping bag a few nights ago just for the occasion.  Her friend's mother warned me that the girls would be painting their nails, so that should be fun for her.

In the meantime, I'll continue watching the NFL Draft for my bachelor night.  Yeah, I really know how to party.

Today was my first furlough day.  With sequestration and the fact that our president and elected officials cannot do their jobs, I'm not allowed to do my job.  So I spent the day at home without pay.  Hooray.  What did I do?  Well, after getting my daughter off to school, I came home and promptly fell asleep on the couch.  I woke up at 3 p.m., 30 minutes before I was due to pick up my daughter from school.  I wasted the entire day.  I guess I needed the sleep.  I really feel like I wasted the day, though, and I can think of dozens of things that I either should have done, or wanted to do.  Faithful Pup Scout was very happy to have me home with her, though.

According to reports, this may be my first and last furlough day.  The FAA has been under a lot of pressure to return air traffic controllers to work, since the furloughs are causing all sorts of delays at airports all over the country.  However, they are working out a funding plan to allow controllers to return to work.  Ironically, my organization is a part of the Air Traffic Organization, the same as the controllers, so it remains to be seen if we will be allowed to return to work, as well.  I guess I'll find out soon.  I just know that, because of the furlough, it is against the law for me to even look at my email on my blackberry to find out.  Crazy, eh?

I guess it's good that I got plenty of sleep today.  I can't help but think I'm going to get a phone call in the middle of the night from my daughter.  The moment she starts feeling left out, which could very well happen since most of the girls at the sleep-over are one's she doesn't know, she might want to just come home.  So I'll have to be ready to go rescue her, if necessary.  Did I mention she's only two doors down, at our neighbor's house?

Do You Feel A Draft?

I can't remember when I started to become interested in the NFL Draft, but I've watched it almost every year for the last few decades, and I become more interested every year.  This year, I'm riveted, since my Steelers have a fairly early pick and they have so many needs.  They're hurting at safety, linebacker (inside & outside), running back, tight end, and wide receiver, and this is a fairly deep draft, so there will be a lot of opportunity to get several players who can help them.  So I'm sitting here watching and waiting for the 17th overall pick.

Interestingly, the last draft that I missed was when the Steelers selected QB Ben Roethlisberger in 2004.  That was the same day as my wife's funeral.  I'm reminded of the story of the two guys who went to their first NFL game, and they had terrific seats.  Just before kickoff, an elderly gentleman sat down next to them, with an empty seat next to him.  They asked the guy about having such great seats, but why was he at the game all by himself?  The old man said that he used to come to every game with his wife, but since she had died, he came alone.  They asked him if he had any friends or family that he could invite to come with him so he didn't have to sit all by himself, and the old guy responded, "I did ask, but they're all at my wife's funeral!"  (If you didn't find that to be funny, it could be my fault.... I'm told I can't tell a joke.)

Last year was such a disappointing season for Steelers fans.  I was very frustrated, especially how they lost several of their games.  They just couldn't finish the way they used.  Their defense finished number one in the league in yards allowed, but they didn't have many turnovers, and sacks were almost non-existent.  That isn't how this defense has played in the past, and it really kept them from being successful.  The offense was able to move the ball fairly well with the new offense under coordinator Todd Haley, but Big Ben was hurt around mid-season and the team struggled after he came back.  The team just barely missed the playoffs.  The off-season wasn't any better, as the Steelers lost many of their free agents.  This is just one big reason why this draft is so important.  The Steelers need to re-tool both the offense and the defense in order to remain competitive in the AFC North.  Cincinnati and Cleveland should be better than last season, and the Ravens were Super Bowl Champions, even if they look less strong than they did at the end of the season.  The Steelers many very well struggle.  Ben, a franchise QB, will keep them in the running for the play-offs, but that's not a guarantee.  If he gets hurt again and misses any time at all, the Steelers will struggle.

The names that have been thrown out as possibilities for the Steelers to select in the first round of the draft are all still on the board after 11 selections.  That could be great news.  The Steelers may have a decision to make if multiple names are still available.  I continue to wait on the edge of my seat.  This is exciting!  But I still feel ridiculous that I care so much.  It's so hard being a die-hard fan.

With the 17th pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers select.... JARVIS JONES, OLB, Georgia!

Truth In Advertising

Truth in advertising....

"All right, Ladies....get your bids in: 40-something male, father, slightly out of shape, well-aged, graying, sleep deprived, squinty-eyed, hairy; suffers from high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea, anxiety, depression, thinning hair, and big feet; well-groomed, snores to beat the band, well-traveled (41 states & counting), road trip & roller coaster enthusiast, Terp, die-hard, highly serious Pittsburgh-centric sports fan, well-paid middle manager/fed who wears a tie to work, still has most of his internal organs, prostate still works, thinks he looks cool, calm, & collected in his 2-seat sports car, likes classic rock, jazz, and hates most modern popular music, lots of tread left on the tires, nice kisser (with references), can cook, slight fear of heights and falling, still has all teeth, frustrated actor/director, and all-around nice guy who only sometimes finishes last; accepting applications now. Don't wait too long, ladies...this one won't last long. Literally."

I'm embracing my faults.

The Dreaded Singles Group

A friend of mine sent me an invitation to a Christian Single's event taking place this weekend, and I panicked. If there is one thing that I absolutely dread, it's a Christian singles group.  I hate to make generalities about the people in these groups, but it's always the same:  desperate people looking desperately for a date.  This is very different from a young adults group.  At least with young adults, it's not expected that you be married by a certain age, and there are usually a lot of wonderful people worth meeting.  With the dreaded "singles group", it's generally made up of a bunch of people that you would expect to be married by the time they hit their 30s or 40s, and the assumption is something must be wrong with them if they're not.  I'm not saying there is something wrong with them.  They could be wonderful people.  This is just a generality, resulting from my own experience.  Anyway, after seeing the invitation, I went screaming the other way.

I recall a picnic that Teresa invited me to at her church.  It was for the singles group.  Teresa thought it might be a fun thing for us to do on a nice Sunday afternoon.  We had only been dating a few weeks.  When we arrived, one of Teresa's friends, who didn't know that Teresa and I were dating, ran over to her and suggested that she meet one of the single guys who was there for the picnic.  It was a very uncomfortable situation.  Teresa politely declined and whispered to her friend that she and I were there together, and things were going pretty well.  The friend didn't quite understand, so Teresa had to spell it out a little more clearly.  We left soon after we arrived, pleased that we had each other and didn't have to go through the awkwardness of the meeting process.

I guess it isn't nice to look down on this breed of singleness.  It may or may not be their fault that they're still single.  I just know that these single groups are not for me.  I'll take my chances on finding someone on my own, without having to resort to the mass meet-and-greets.  They just aren't any fun.

Some Little Known Facts

· If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

· If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

· The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

· Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

· On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

· The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

· You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

· Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

· Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

· You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

· Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

· In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

· The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

· Polar bears are left handed.

· The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.

· The flea can jump 350 times its body length, It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

· A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.

· The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.

· Butterflies taste with their feet.

· A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes

· Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

· Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

· A cat's urine glows under a blacklight

· Starfish don't have brains.  

· It is impossible to lick your elbow.

· A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

· A shrimp's heart is in their head.

· People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a mili-second.

· In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so - apart from Bones ).

· It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

· A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

· Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

· On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

· More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

· Rats and horses can't vomit.

· The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

· If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die, if you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

· Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

· Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

· If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for US citizens to have any contact with  extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

· In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

· The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

· Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

· A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

· 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

· In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

· Most lipstick contains fish scales.

· Cat's urine glows under a black-light.

· Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

· Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

· The lion costume in the film Wizard of Oz was made from real lions.

· Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

· "Jaws" is the most common name for a goldfish.

· The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

· Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Suffering Produces Endurance Produces Character Produces Hope

No matter how hard I try to treat it like just another day, April 19, the anniversary of my wife's death, causes me to be depressed, angry, and otherwise not quite myself.  This year was no exception.  I've been in a pretty rotten mood for several days now, despite the fact that 9 years have now past since her home-going.  I know better than to allow this to happen.  I received a reminder while listening to my pastor deliver his message this week, from Romans 5:3-5:

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

This passage shows the hope that results from suffering, and while I understand and practice this throughout most of the year, during this time every year, I allow myself to be overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, depressed, and lonely, and with no energy to do anything.  I know better.  I know that God is with me, knows and understands my suffering, and one day, at the appropriate time, He may lift this cloud that surrounds me.  I know He is not the reason for this suffering that I feel.  I just need to look past it and use it to bring endurance, character, and the hope that I feel to the front.

With that said, please forgive me if I have not been as friendly or nice as I normally am, or if I have taken out my anger or frustration out on you, my friends, co-workers, family, neighbors, and others who I deal with on a regular basis.  It is a result of what I am going through at this time of year.  It hurts so much.  I'm a broken person who needs Christ in my life.  But I will try to be a better person, and to reflect Christ's love in the way He means it to be.

Thank you for your support, friendship, prayers, and love.

Eric

Reservoir High

I was just sitting here thinking about the wonderful folks at Reservoir High School, and the fact that they were inspired by Teresa to create the Serenity Garden in front of the school  They have since added several more names (unfortunately, the community has experienced more deaths since that time).  I am forever thankful for the people that were there at the school during that time in my life, particularly the principal, Addie Kaufman, who is both a true friend and wonderful leader for the Reservoir community.  Though she is now at Marriott's Ridge High School, she will always be connected to Reservoir as the first principal of the school, and Teresa's boss, who was there the night she died and helped me so much that awful evening.  In addition to the wonderful Serenity Garden, there is also a scholarship offered to graduating seniors of Reservoir that is in Teresa's name, and is given annually to students who fit a criteria that was established reflecting many of the attributes Teresa exhibited.  This year's will be the ninth recipient.

 Former colleagues & student of Teresa's at Reservoir's 10-year anniversary in May 2012

 Dr. Addie Kaufman, first principal of Reservoir High

Christine Vidmar, a former student who also spoke at Teresa's funeral service, and member of the Class of 2006, the first graduating class at Reservoir.

Nine Years...

...and the scars still ache.

Teresa Shirlen Freed

May 28, 1972 - April 19, 2004

1 Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

Remembering Teresa

Tomorrow is an anniversary that I dread every year.  Nine years ago tomorrow I lost my best friend, my lover, my wife, my daughter's mother.  She was a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, teacher, and friend.  Teresa Shirlen Freed was an awesome person!  Her life was too short.  The Lord had plans for her with Him, and she passed away on the evening of April 19, 2004.  You may read all about that evening in an earlier blog post I originally wrote a few months after her home-going:

http://www.awayfromthethingsofman.com/2010/10/teresa-goes-to-be-with-lord.html

Please remember my daughter and me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow.  Though nine years have passed, we still have the scars of that evening.  We know that our Lord is with us and continues to care for us, and that Teresa/Mommy is in a better place, but we still miss her and love her.

Relationship Re-runs

I bought a box of Chinese fortune cookies a few days ago.  I like how they taste.  They make a nice snack.  I had one this afternoon and my fortune read, "Sometimes even love shows a re-run."  As usual, I laughed it off, then threw it away.  I don't believe in things like fortunes, luck (good or bad), tea leaves, reading palms, horoscopes, UFOs, Bigfeet (other than my 6'6" little brother), and the Loch Ness Monster (unless you're talking about the roller coaster, in which case I definitely DO believe in the Loch Ness Monster -- it's an awesome ride!).

I found myself thinking about my past loves, though, and the fact that I've really ever only had three serious relationships in my 43 years.  "Ellen" was my first significant relationship.  She was a strange one, though.  We dated for about 8 months back in 1993.  I'm not sure I really knew what love was, and it was one of those long-distance deals that I have come to hate so much.  She was a student at WVU in Morgantown, WV.  I met her just before my grandfather, Pap, passed away.  She was a Catholic, as well, and I'm not, and her family had a difficult time accepting me.  She had no intention of leaving the Catholic Church, either, and I wasn't planning to join.  It became clear that there were just too many strikes against us to make it work.  Ironically, even though she broke it off with me (over the phone, no less), she contacted me several years later and wanted to give it another try.  The relationship was much more serious this time, and we started to consider marriage.  She was living in Winchester, VA, by this time, still well outside the DC Metropolitan area that I required, with no intention of coming here.  She was still a Catholic, too, and though I went to Mass with her, I knew it was not where God wanted me to be.  After spending a day with her and her family (and getting the cold shoulder from her mother once again) just before Easter, I could see the handwriting on the wall, and so could she.  We mutually ended it after another seven months of a rather roller coaster-like affair.

A short while after breaking it off with "Ellen", I met Teresa, who, after less than a year of dating, agreed to be my wife, and we married on July 24, 1999.  Teresa was everything Ellen wasn't.  She was my friend, my best friend, and was awesome in every way.  She made me a better person.  It was very clear that God blessed our marriage.  What we didn't know was that her life would end far sooner than anyone anticipated. She had a heart condition that had worsened following the birth of Melody, and as the strain on her heart increased, she assumed that her body was just having issues recovering from the pregnancy.  Despite my urges, she declined to see her doctor, and her heart finally gave out on a beautiful early Spring evening while we were walking around Reservoir High School, where she worked as a teacher.  She went to be with the Lord on April 19, 2004, nine years ago this week, leaving me with our 5-month old little girl and so much heartbreak.

It took a while for me to get back on the horse, so to speak, but it happened in the Summer of 2009.  I had become friends with a colleague from work.  The problem was she worked in Oklahoma City, while I worked here in Maryland.  But she knew my story, and we shared the same faith.  Ginger was very beautiful,  very smart, and, since we had already met several times in person, shared a mutual attraction.  Our friendship had intensified through our emails during that Summer, and after I finally got her to admit that she liked me at least as much as I liked her, we began to see each other.  I was fortunate that I was in a position at work that called for regular trips to OK City, so we were able to see each other much more frequently than we may have, otherwise.  I was very clear with her when we started dating that the relationship would only work if we could get past the long-distance issue, since I knew from past experience it wouldn't work out unless one of us was willing to move.  That wasn't an easy thing for me to do, and I told her as much.  OK City held little appeal to me, and I knew it didn't make a lot of sense to take Melody away from our family.  Though I could easily transfer my job, it was even easier for her to make the move to Maryland.  She was a lawyer (DC is made for lawyers!), had no roots in Oklahoma (she was originally from Nebraska, and still had family there), and said she had no problem moving here.  The relationship moved very fast, and soon I found myself in "pre-marriage" counseling with a counselor she was friends with in OK City.  We soon stopped having fun, because every time I came to see her, we spent time in counseling, which led to much serious conversation and debate about our differences in philosophy regarding faith, child-rearing, money, etc.  The red flags started to pop up.  It really seemed like she was trying too hard to look for the issues instead of trying to make it work.  Finally, after one tumultuous conversation in March, I had had enough and basically told her I was done talking about it.  She hung up on me, then followed that up with an email message stating that the relationship was over.  I replied that I didn't think it was appropriate to end it that was without a chance to talk over things and at least try to end it amicably.  She agreed.  We talked again a few days later, and I was hit with a flood of strongly worded arguing and emotion that apparently had been bottled up for a while.  She said she never wanted to move to Maryland, and was disappointed I never gave Oklahoma a chance (totally disregarding my statement to her before we started dating that I had no desire to move to OK, and that she said she would move to MD).  Among other insults, she also questioned my parenting skills, and said that I would likely have issues with Melody as she got older.  I had never had a breakup like this one.  It was very hurtful to have someone who I truly did love say such things, and that she had felt this way for some time, too!  Anyway, the conversation soon ended, and the relationship ended, as well.  Interestingly, I found out that she got married a year later, and quit her job, as well.  I hope she is happy.  I still pray for her regularly.

So, yeah.... I really don't see myself getting into a "relationship re-run".  All three relationships I experienced are very unlikely to be revisited.  And, in fact, I would very much like to find a new relationship, and I pray about it regularly.  I know I just need to have patience, that God will pick the right time for it to happen.

Dating T2, Part 3

On April 4, 1998, I met Teresa.  "T2" was her nickname.  We began to date and eventually we were married.  The following are excerpts from a diary I kept of our time together.  This is part two.  Enjoy!

***

10/2/98 – Teresa came over and we took Dan out to Outback for his belated Birthday dinner…

10/3/98 – Teresa and I met Mom & Dad and Paul & Elizabeth at Dough Roller for lunch…Teresa and I to Mt. Hebron for the homecoming football game…Unfortunately, the Vikings are losing badly…Back to Teresa’s apartment to clean up, then to Grace’s Fortune for dinner with Mom & Dad, Paul & Elizabeth, Aunt Nancy & Uncle Jack, and Dan…After we ate, we quickly went to Grace Baptist Church in Bowie for a surprise 40^th birthday party for Paul…Lots of friends and family there…

10/6/98 – Teresa made us French Toast and hash browns for dinner, then we hiked over to Montpelier Mansion…

10/7/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose for the mid-week service…Dinner afterward at TGI Friday’s with her parents and Mr. Jim B…

10/8/98 – Teresa and I met at her parents house, then we went to dinner at Ledo’s…To Montrose for “Class Act”, an acting seminar…

10/9/98 – Teresa and I had dinner at Jerry’s, then watched a video…

10/10/98 – Teresa and I joined Mom & Dad, Angie & Dave, and Darren and his girlfriend for a day at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg…

10/11/98 – Teresa and I went grocery shopping, then she made Kristen and I a good ham supper…I made milkshakes for dessert…

10/14/98 – Teresa and I met at Montrose for the mid-week service…

10/15/98 – Teresa and I met at Montrose and had dinner at the Silver Diner…

10/16/98 – Teresa and Kristen brought me a McD’s dinner, then we went to the Hope’s for a Single’s party…good time, but really not for Teresa & I anymore…

10/17/98 – Teresa and I went to the Renaissance Festival in Crownsville…Good time!…Met Mom & Dad for dinner at Ledo’s, then we watched old home movies until late…

10/18/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose for a concert, First Impression…

10/21/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose and we went to dinner at Bennigan’s…Back to the church and we helped Teresa’s Mom set up the gym for “Pastor Appreciation Day”…Big party after the service…

10/22/98 – Teresa, Kristen & I had dinner…

10/23/98 – I left work early, and Teresa met me for lunch at Applebee’s…Said a long goodbye as I left for the weekend for a youth retreat at Summit Lake with the youth group I used to work with…

10/25/98 – I met Teresa at Montrose and we went to her parents house to visit with them, Jim & Gail, Ray & Margret, Ray’s parents, and Kyle & Faith…

10/26/98 – Teresa & I had dinner at Chili’s, then shopped for Darren’s birthday…

10/28/98 – Teresa & I ate dinner at the church, then to the mid-week service…Lori asked Dan, Teresa & I to do a skit for Sunday’s service…

10/29/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose and we went to dinner at Woodside Deli…back to the church to practice our skit with Dan and Lori…

10/30/98 – Teresa and I met Mom & Dad, Dave, Darren & his girlfriend at Olive Garden to celebrate Darren’s birthday…back to Mom & Dad’s for cake & ice cream…

10/31/98 – Teresa and I dressed up as Bo Peep and Woody from TOY STORY for the Fall Fest at Montrose…Then to Teresa’s grandparents to celebrate Pop’s birthday with the whole Shirlen clan…

11/1/98 – Teresa, Dan, I, and several others performed a skit at Montrose…We played third graders…Lunch with Teresa’s parents at TGI Friday’s, then we went to my place to hang out…Back to Montrose to hear Teresa’s Dad preach at the Sunday night service…

11/3/98 – Election Day…Teresa and I spent the whole day together…Saw a movie, celebrated Jim & Rebecca’s son’s, Joshua, first birthday…Good dinner at Bugaboo Creek Steak House…

11/4/98 – Teresa’s co-worker, Carol, gave us tickets to see the Terps play the Australian National Team play an exhibition basketball game at Cole Field House…very cool…Terps won 90-59…

11/5/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose for Christmas play rehearsal…

11/6/98 – Teresa and I took Kristen to see THE WIZARD OF OZ at Snowden Square…

11/7/98 – Teresa spent the day shopping in Lancaster…

11/8/98 – Teresa brought over gifts from her shopping extravaganza, and we hung out all afternoon…To Bob Evans for dinner…

11/11/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose and we had dinner at Houston’s…mid-week service at Montrose…

11/12/98 – Teresa and I had dinner at Boston Market, then to Montrose for play rehearsal…

11/13/98 – Dinner and video with Kristen and Teresa at their apartment…

11/14/98 – Teresa and I ate in and just enjoyed being with each other…

11/15/98 – Teresa dropped by after church and we did some shopping, watched TV (A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS), hung out…then to Montrose for an evening service…

11/18/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose and we went Woodside Deli for dinner…back to church…Teresa had a migraine halfway through the service…Lori asked Dan, Teresa & I to do another skit for Sunday…

11/19/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose for play rehearsal…

11/20/98 – Teresa made Kristen and I a meatloaf dinner, then we began to decorate the Christmas Tree…I fell asleep…When I awoke, they were done…

11/21/98 – Teresa and I had lunch at Don Pablo’s, then saw a parade – Laurel High Marching Band leading Santa’s sleigh to Laurel Mall…Very cool…so we walked over to the Mall to check it all out…Back to her apartment…Teresa made Christmas cookies…Kristen brought her parents over…nice to meet them…

11/22/98 – Dan, Teresa & I performed a skit at Montrose, then we went back to our place with Kristy, ordered a pizza, and watched the Steelers beat up on the Jaguars on TV…Teresa and I went back to Montrose to hear her Dad preach…

11/23/98 – To Teresa’s apartment and met her friend, Irene…then, Teresa, Kristen and I went to KFC for dinner…Teresa and I went to Montrose for play rehearsal…

11/24/98 – I met Teresa for dinner at Bennigan’s, then we went to church at Montrose (mid-week service one day early)…

11/25/98 – Delicious dinner and a quiet evening together…

11/26/98 – Thanksgiving!…Great dinner by Mom…Aunt Nancy & Uncle Jack and Dan & Kristy joined Mom, Dad, Darren and I…Teresa and the Shirlens came by later for dessert…great time…Our parents all met for the first time…Afterward, I felt like I knew, one day, Teresa and I would get married…

11/27/98 – Teresa and ate lunch at Applebee’s, then did some shopping at FSK Mall in Frederick…Dad called Teresa on her cell phone while she was in the dressing room at one of the stores…Dan & Kristy followed Teresa & I to Dough Roller for a family get-together, then the four of us went to Teresa’s apartment to play Mexican Train until late…

11/28/98 – Teresa and I did a lot of Christmas shopping…Ate dinner with Mom & Dad…drove around looking at Christmas lights…Back to her apartment and watched the Terps beat up on Pitt…

11/29/98 – After church, Teresa & I had a lunch at Red Lobster with her parents and a large group from Montrose…More Christmas shopping…Back to my place to watch a video…

12/1/98 – Teresa and I ate dinner at Ruby Tuesday, then to Montrose for a rehearsal…poor thing had a migraine…

12/2/98 – Met Teresa for the mid-week service at Montrose…

12/3/98 – Teresa, Kristen and I at sloppy joe’s and watched the #2 ranked Terps beat up on Wake Forest…

12/4/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose and we did some Christmas shopping at White Flint and a few other places…Dinner at the Silver Diner…

12/5/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose for play rehearsal, then we went to lunch at Fuddrucker’s…We decided to see a movie, then to UMD to see DaVinci’s Notebook do a show…

12/6/98 – Teresa brought over a 3 Brother’s lunch after church, and Dan, Teresa and I watched the Steelers lose another heartbreaker on TV…But then saw the Terps beat Stanford…

12/7/98 – Teresa and I met at Montrose for rehearsal and saw a little bit of the Montrose basketball game…

12/8/98 – More rehearsal and Montrose…

12/9/98 – Met Teresa and her Mom for dinner at Montrose, then saw the Elementary school concert and show…

12/10/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose for another rehearsal…

12/11/98 – Teresa and I to White Flint Mall eatery for dinner, then to Montrose for a dress rehearsal in full makeup…Teresa looked very old (she’s playing an old woman in a nursing home)…

12/12/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose and we performed in A VALLEY HAVEN CHRISTMAS SHOW by cousin Paul…Very exciting and a big hit…To Shoney’s afterward with Mom & Dad, Uncle Jack & Aunt Nancy, Dan & Kristy, and Teresa…

12/13/98 – Met Teresa at Montrose for church, then we went to TGI Friday’s with her parents for lunch…Teresa and I went home to relax, then to a cast party to see the video of the play…

12/15/98 – I picked up Teresa and we went to Mom & Dad’s to decorate the tree and we ate Chinese food…

12/16/98 – To Montrose and ate dinner with Teresa, Kristen and Elizabeth…then to the mid-week service…

12/17/98 – Teresa and I talked by phone about church stuff…she wants me to join Montrose, but I don’t really want to…

12/18/98 – Took off early from work and met Teresa for lunch in Columbia and do some Christmas shopping…back to her apartment…picked up Kristen and we drove to Watkins Regional Park to see Christmas decorations…To Wendy’s for dinner, then stopped by Mom & Dad’s…Back to their apartment for a little gift exchange with Kristen…

12/19/98 – Teresa and I to the movies to see YOU’VE GOT MAIL, then to Hard Times for a Chilli dinner…

12/20/98 – Met Teresa for church at Montrose, then to her apartment for a nice lunch…we did our Christmas cards…Back to church for Teresa’s Mom’s organ recital and a pot-luck dinner…

12/21/98 – Teresa looking stunning…Out with Joanne and Kevin to Copeland’s for dinner, then to the Kennedy Center to see the Paul Hill Choral Christmas Concert…a wonderful evening…

12/22/98 – Met Teresa at her parent’s house, then we went out to see a Montrose basketball game…back to the Shirlen’s and we had a good time with them and the Hopes and Dan & Kristy, exchanging gifts…

12/23/98 – Met Teresa at her apartment and then had dinner with her friend Jennifer…Headed home in the snow!

12/24/98 – Picked up Teresa at her parent’s and we went to Christmas Eve service at Montrose…I locked my keys in the car…Took 2 hours for a locksmith to get it opened…rushed over to Jody and Fred’s for a big Shirlen family Christmas party…Santa Claus dropped in for a visit, too!  Good time by all…

12/25/98 - Christmas Day...Teresa came over to my parent's house and we, they, and Angie, David, and Darren had a very nice and memorable day...I followed Teresa back to her apartment and we spend the rest of the day just being together...

12/26/98 – Met Teresa and her parents at her apartment and we put together Teresa’s new computer desk for her new Imac computer…Then we took her old desk to her parent’s house…Teresa went with me to my place to change and clean up, then we met her parents again at Joanne and Kevin’s for a Christmas party…

12/27/98 – Teresa came over early and we went to Covenant UM Church to hear Rev. Tom Kaylor preach…Teresa & I then met Mom & Dad at Cozy in Thurmont for dinner…to Frederick for the Church Tour around downtown…then all home…

12/28/98 – Lots of running today…met Teresa at her apartment and we went to Motofoto, Jerry’s for lunch, Annapolis Mall and Best Buy…Fan problems with my car…stopped at Mom & Dad’s, Wal-Mart, Pep Boys, Giant, then back to Teresa’s…Teresa made pizza for dinner…

12/29/98 – To Teresa’s and Mom & Dad came by…the four of us went to Silver Diner for lunch…To Teresa’s parents…we picked up her Mom and the three of us to Gaithersburg High to see Montrose play in a basketball tournament…

12/30/98 – Teresa and I and Dad and David to the Auto Show in downtown DC…Met Olympic gymnast Kerri Strug…Back to Bowie and dinner at Ruby Tuesdays…Mom, Darren and Angie joined us…Celebrated Dad’s 54^th birthday…

12/31/98 – To Teresa’s and we hung around the apartment most of the day…To Montrose for the New Year’s Eve service, then we joined her parents, Kevin & Joanne, and Faith Hope for dinner at the Bamboo Café…Joanne & Kevin followed us back to Teresa’s and we brought in the New Year…