Reservoir High

Reservoir High School had their New Family and Student Orientation for next year's incoming Freshmen last evening, and it was a wonderful program.  My daughter, Melody, will be in high school next year, which is hard enough for me to accept, but the fact that she is looking forward to it as much as she is, even with a bit of anxiety, is incredible to me.  She's my little girl, and she's going to be a high schooler.  Sigh.

My wife, Teresa Freed, was an original Reservoir Gator, having been hired away from Ellicott City's Mt. Hebron High School to help open the new school in Fulton, MD, in 2002.  She taught Ninth Grade English and Public Speaking, and led the Ninth Grade Team.  She, like all of the first year staff, also personalized a small tile, and the tiles were hung on walls in the school's Media Center.  I had never seen her tile, but since we were at Reservoir last evening, I had the opportunity for the first time to actually see the tile, and it was a wonderful feeling.

Teresa and I found ourselves expecting our first child during that first year at Reservoir, and upon the birth or our daughter, Melody, during the Fall of 2003, Teresa took the rest of the year off from teaching.  It was April 19, 2004, on a beautiful evening, that we found ourselves walking around with infant Melody at Reservoir High School, hoping to catch up with the principal, Dr. Addie Kaufman, who was working late.  That's when Teresa collapsed and died from a massive heart attack, changing our lives forever.

While I found myself spending time with the Reservoir family for many years following her death and homegoing, I never really spent much time inside the school.  So, last evening, at the Student Orientation, I took the opportunity to go to the Media Center and finally see her tile (pictured at the top of this post).

Melody, meanwhile, is getting very excited about high school, and that was the icing on the cake for this proud dad.  She is so ready for this.  And I'll finish with this:  Reservoir High School is an outstanding school, and the sense of community was so apparent and strong last night.  I'm so happy that my daughter has this opportunity to attend the same school where her mother taught, and I'm excited for her, too.

Have a great evening, everyone!

Speaking In Tongues...

My daughter is taking a French elective at school for the second year in a row, so that makes her somewhat of an expert now.  We were chatting about this yesterday and she was telling me how cool it was to think she was able to speak a different language, and she was excited at the possibility of visiting a country that speaks French so she could try it out.

As much as I would love a visit to France, Europe isn’t in the cards, at least anytime in the near future.  There are many other places we (I?) want to visit, and they are taking priority.  I’m anxious to continue seeing THIS country, where we live, and we are very close to visiting all 50 states (I’m at 46 – North Dakota, Idaho, Alaska, and Hawaii; Melody is at 45 – add Kansas to that list).  We are planning an Alaska vacation in a few years, when Melody can assist in some of the driving.  A road trip to Hawaii may be a few more years away, too….  Just kidding.

That said, I did visit a land that speaks French a little over 20 years ago:  Canada.  Specifically, I drove through all of Atlantic Canada (other than Newfoundland), then headed west into the Province of Quebec.  It was amazing to me that everything in Quebec was in French.  Up until then, I was seeing both English and French on every road sign in every province, but Quebec was the exception.  I guess there is a stubbornness (a “French-ness?”) about that province, that it refuses to even speak English.  I found myself at a restaurant (it was a McDonald’s) on the outskirts of the city of Quebec, and the lady at the register told me she did not speak any English.  Fortunately, I had a little bit of rust-covered French in my vocabulary and was able to get by, but even at touristy spots in the city, people spoke only French.  It was intimidating, to be truthful.  When I later arrived in Montreal, I found the people there to be more readily bilingual. 

I guess I’m not ready to start globe-hopping… Unless my daughter goes with me.  But I don’t want it to seem like my expectations are for everyone to speak English where the native language is something else.  That would make me an ugly American.  My surprise was that, in a country like Canada, where English is spoken in every other province, French is the only language spoken in Quebec.

I had two years of Spanish in high school, plus a half-semester of French, but, really, the only things I can remember, other than some basic common vocabulary, are how to conjugate verbs and structure a sentence.  And I never could get the inflection right in either language.  I can’t even do a British accent.  But my daughter can.  She has all the real talent in the family.

Have a great evening, everyone.

"Studying Poetry Ruins The Poems"

I had a really nice Christmas.  The season is all about giving, and I love finding gifts for my family and friends.  That said, I received a lot of incredible gifts from so much of my family.  

One item, from my wonderful daughter, is a really nice travel mug, and I've used it just about everyday since Christmas Day.  It keeps my coffee hot for hours.  In fact, I filled it with coffee before we went to Busch Gardens Christmas Town, in Williamsburg, VA, in the morning, and it sat in our vehicle in the parking lot for seven hours on a day when the temperature never went above the teens, and it was still warm!

Another cool gift, also from my daughter, is "The Complete Peanuts Family Album," a comprehensive guide to Charles M. Schulz's comic strip characters, with text by Andrew Farago.  I've spent hours perusing the book, and it includes many obscure characters only appeared in a handful of strips, or maybe in a Peanuts TV special or movie, as well as the more popular personalities, like Good Ol' Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and Linus and Lucy Van Pelt.  There are pages devoted to each of these characters, and one of my favorite is for Schroeder, the piano playing, Beethoven loving, Lucy hating, catcher on Charlie Brown's baseball team.  What I discovered is, while I can relate to some of the personality quirks of many of the characters, it was Schroeder who I feel I is most like me.  The book includes quotes from the more popular characters, and these quotes provide wonderful insight.  The one for Schroeder states, "Studying poetry ruins the poems."  I can relate to that, and agree wholeheartedly.  I've met a few Lucy's, as well, who can't understand why Schroeder doesn't like her.  My Lucy's feel much the same.  I'm very picky about who I like, and a woman who is too forward with me, as Lucy is with him, is a huge turn-off.

There were many more wonderful gifts, but these are just a few highlights.  My daughter is awesome.

Stay warm out there, and have a wonderful evening, everyone!

Riding Roller Coasters With My Girl

I don't have time for a full blog post this evening, but I can share this:  My daughter and I love roller coasters.  We love them so much, we take vacations just so that we can ride new coasters.  I've been on 165 different coasters in my lifetime (my daughter is at 147).  The above drawing/caricature is from Busch Gardens, in Williamsburg, VA, and is supposed to represent the Loch Ness Monster, one of our favorite coasters.  Anyway, we're looking forward to warmer weather so we can ride more coasters.

Stay warm!

Fanaticism For My Sports Teams

It's hard being a sports fan.  It's really hard being a diehard sports fan.  Today turned into one of those sports overkill kind of days, with National Football League playoffs featuring four teams in action today (along with the four from yesterday's games), a National Hockey League game featuring my favorite team, the Pittsburgh Penguins, taking on the Boston Bruins, and finally, the Maryland Terrapins Men's basketball team taking on the Iowa Hawkeyes.

The football games didn't even feature my favorite football team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, though they are impacted by the results of today's close game between the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Buffalo Bills. The Jags head to Pittsburgh to take on the Steelers in next week's matchup.

The Penguins have struggled much of this season after two straight Stanley Cup Championships, showing everyone how hard it is to repeat as champs.  They are trying to right their season after a big win the other night.

The Terps have struggled since losing two of their regular players for the season due to injury, and after getting clobbered a few nights ago to a strong Michigan State squad, look to rebound against Iowa.

The Maryland Women's basketball team won their game today against Wisconsin, and they continue to play strong.

I know I take my sports way too seriously.  In fact, given my high blood pressure, hypertension, and overall stress, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to get so emotionally invested in sports, but I can't help it.  The highs are too great, even as the lows are so hard on me, to ever give it up.  Also, given how good my teams tend to be year after year (I live and die with Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team, too), it's just too worth it to not watch them all whenever I can.

Go Pens!  Go Terps!  Go Bucs!  Here We Go, Steelers, Here We Go!

Death Cannot Stop True Love

"Death cannot stop true love.  All it can do is delay it for a while."  -- Westley, to his true love, Buttercup, in THE PRINCESS BRIDE

After 13 years, you might think that a significant life event would lose a bit of its impact, but I tell you, in fact, that isn't the case.  It was more than 13 years ago that my wonderful wife, Teresa, left this life to spend eternity with our Lord and Savior, Jesus.  And given His promise of eternal life, I am assured of seeing her again.

But what of this life?  The death of a spouse is traumatic to the survivor, regardless of age, but most would say that their image of a widow or widower is that of someone well seasoned, not a young adult, as a young widow shared in her blog, which I read just today. (https://ericaroman.me/2018/01/06/this-is-what-widowed-looks-like/)  She's correct.  As we age, it's natural to think of one's own mortality.  But, when one is barely into one's thirties, or twenties, or even forties, death is not something we think about...unless it touches us in some way.

I've had a few brushes with death.  When I was 18, only a month after graduating high school, I was involved in a traffic accident in which my grandparents were killed in the car I was driving.  We were rear-ended by a tractor-trailer.  I likely would have died in the accident if I hadn't been pulled out through the driver's side window before the car went up in flames.  I suffered a concussion and have no memory of the accident, which, because it was a multi-car pile-up, authorities found no one to blame for its cause. 

The loss in this case was my grandparents, who I loved so much.  It was tragic, given the circumstances, as is all loss.  My mother, in particular, suffered greatly for many years after.  It dramatically changed the dynamics of my family in ways too numerous to explain here.

Then, just six years later, my last remaining grandparent, my grandfather, Pap, passed away after a long battle with cancer.  I held his hand, as the entire family gathered around his bed when he breathed his last breath.  I had so much respect for that man, and I mourned our loss, despite his 83 years.

The only thing made bearable with these losses was the knowledge that they had each lived a fairly long and fulfilling life.  This was not the case with my wife, Teresa.  She was only 31 when she passed on.  It has always bothered me that we were married fewer than five years, and I knew her for only six.  What I did know is that she was my true love, a love that was blessed by God.  I also know that, as short as it was, she did live a fulfilling life, filled with all of the people she impacted by sharing her faith, or her love.  She was always a loving person, and always looked at the good in everyone and everything.  She impacted me more than anyone, and I think about her everyday.  And while our daughter, Melody, missed out on knowing her at all (she was only five months old when she passed), she got perhaps the best gift of all:  She is benefiting from her mother's genetics, because she has the potential to be everything her mother was, and so much more.

That said, grief still haunts me.  The loss was great.  I miss her so much.  That's probably what I miss the most:  having her in my life.  I hate being lonely.  She was my best friend, and there is no substitute for her, no one to fill that void in my life.  And while I know God is more than big enough to fill that void, what He does in my life is much different than what Teresa did.  She was my true love., and I don't know if I'll ever be strong enough to search for that kind of love again.

Have a great evening, everyone.

Christmas Never Ends

After being home for a few days, sick with a cold, and going stir crazy, I returned to work today.  Daughter Melody had a two hour delay, but she went off to school with her friends.  Faithful Pup Scout remained at home terribly confused as to why everyone left her alone.

When you've been off work for illness reasons, co-workers understandably want to know for sure that you're well enough to be back at work.  You are a pariah until you've been proven otherwise.  Unfortunately, I'm not completely well, and it's very noticeable with my congestion, cough, and heavy bass singing voice.  So I was confined to my office, and no one came to visit with me.  Which was fine, since I had a lot of work on which to catch up, and I really didn't feel well enough to socialize anyway.  Really, I shouldn't have been at work in the first place.

Then I received a text from my daughter.  She was sick, and didn't think she could make it through the rest of the day.  It looked like my day was going to end early.  I quickly arranged for one of my employees to act for me, and my boss cleared me to leave.  I rushed to the school to get Melody, and, aside from a quick trip to the store for supplies through the weekend, we went home and crashed.  We're likely in for a quiet weekend.

It felt good to be out and about, at least for a little while, but it's clear I need a few more days to recover.  God sometimes gives us signs that we need to slow things down, and I need to listen to Him.

***

It's still looking a lot like Christmas at our house.  We're in no hurry to take down our Christmas decorations.  There is something about having our Christmas Tree still standing, with the lights on, that I find relaxing.  Also, it's just a little too cold outside to think about getting on a ladder and taking down the Christmas lights around the front of the house.  While we don't still turn on the outside lights, the tree is still lighted daily.

We don't like for the Christmas season to end.  It's our favorite time of year, and there is such a build-up to the Big Day, we just don't want it to be over so quickly.  There is still a feeling of celebration through New Years Day, so there is no rush to take everything down, anyway.

And we're still seeing friends and family that we didn't see before Christmas, too.  In fact, there is a group of my wife's friends that we regularly see every year AFTER Christmas, sometimes a couple of months later.  This year, we're scheduled to get together on Sunday, so, if our heath is better, we'll see them and exchange gifts.  Again, it's just nice to extend the season for a few more weeks.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

8 Types of Love, And Philos Was My Favorite

Psychiatrists have determined that there are either 3, 4, 6, 7, or 8 different types of love, depending on which website you look at or believe, and given my quick Google search.  The 8 type ones go with Eros, or sexual love; Storge, or familiar love; Ludus, or playful love; Mania, or obsessive love; Pragma, or enduring love; Philautia, or self love; Agape, or selfless love; and Philia, or affectionate love.  Philia, or "Philos" (which we defined as deep friendship), defined my relationship with my best friend.

I had to let go of her recently.  It was inevitable that this would happen.  It's like the movie, WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, with Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal.  Men and women can't be friends.  You either have an Eros type of relationship, or you don't, and as soon as a third person comes into the picture, it gets too complicated to continue with Philos alone.

I prayed about it.  I knew that, if God wanted the relationship to work for us, it would, but I also knew that there were too many differences between us for any kind of romance to develop into that kind of a relationship.  We had gotten too close, though, I guess.  And I got selfish, because I liked what we had.  But I couldn't give her what she wanted, which was the Eros, Storge, Ludus, and Pragma.  We only had the Philos, and that was good enough for me.  When she found the other types in a guy that made her happy, I couldn't handle sharing her, and I knew I had to let her go.  Because men and women can't be friends.  And I had to let her go before she left me, because that's been my experience.  I lose the people that mean the most to me.

I don't let very many people into my life anymore.  I guess I got tired of losing them, because that's what happens, inevitably.  And it has made me sad.  I have lots of acquaintances, but very few real friends.  I'm not talking family, because that's different.  I can't seem to hang onto any real friends.

I read a bunch of books about loss following the death of my wife, Teresa.  She was my best friend, and after we got married, we became a couple, and that's who we spent most of our time with:  other couples.  My single friends kind of disappeared.  But it was okay, because we had each other.  After Teresa died, and I began battling grief and depression, I read in these books about grief and depression that I should expect to lose all of my couple friends within the first year.  They wouldn't disappear completely, at least some of them, but the majority would just kind of drift out of my life.  And I didn't believe it.  But, about a year later, I discovered it to be true.  Similar people seem to want to be around similar people.  I was no longer a "couple," and couples didn't necessarily want to be around me.  So most became acquaintances, or drifted out of my life completely.

Slowly but surely, the turnover from couple friends to single friends took place, and I found that I was spending most of my time with other singles, though I was still a bit stigmatized since I wasn't just a single guy... I was a parent, too.  So the only people I really had anything in common with were single parents with kids.  And very few, if any of those, were single due to the death of their spouse.  Most were divorced.  The two are similar, but still very different.

Another strike against me was that I was getting older.  Teresa was only 31 when she passed away.  We were a young couple.  As time went on, I found myself getting older, and dating becomes complicated as one gets older.  My daughter, in particular, didn't like it when I dated.  And she told me so.

Anyway, at some point, I determined, after trying to date, and even dating seriously at least one young lady, I didn't want to date anymore.  I wasn't having any fun, and if the goal was marriage, I wasn't even sure I wanted that.  My marriage to Teresa was awesome.  The best and happiest time of my life.  But I didn't think I could ever find another relationship like it, and I kind of gave up.  I was certainly open to friendships, but romance was no longer a goal.

When I met my best friend, we were able to define the limits of our friendship, and romance was not within those limits.  But we became so close.  It was intimate, but in the way that best friends are intimate.  We shared and leaned on each other, and helped each other and talked through our problems and issues, and we were happy for each other when good things happened.  But I knew she was still searching for romance.  She told me as much.  And I told her that, eventually, that would spell the end of our relationship as it was.  And she asked me to not worry about it until and unless it happened.

And then it did.  She met a great guy.  And I was hurt, because I knew that our relationship would never be the same.  And she struggled to understand that.  She thought we could continue our relationship the way it was, but you just can't do that.  You can't be intimate, even if it's a different kind of intimacy, with more than one person.  And so I said goodbye.  And it hurt so much.  It hurt both of us, I know, but it was yet another loss.  I knew that she would eventually realize she couldn't continue to have the same kind of relationship with me, and that she would have to say goodbye, but I knew it was easier to do it now rather than later.  And it was rough.  And it still is.  And I still Philos her even as I know she has found happiness and, I hope, he has Philos for her.  I pray for them both regularly, that God will bless their relationship.

Have a great evening, everyone.

Sick Day...and Snow?

Some days, you just have to take a sick day...

I've been battling a very bad cold for the past several days, and it seemed to hit its peak overnight.  I had a poor night sleeping, so I elected to call in sick from work for the day.  My understanding boss gave me the okay, and my employees said they could handle things without me.  Then, after taking Faithful Pup Scout outside for a quick constitutional (and it WAS quick... It was too cold not to be), I took a dose of NyQuil and went back to sleep.  And Scout let me sleep, too.  The next thing I knew, it was quarter after noon, and Scout was still sleeping deeply.

Daughter Melody came home from school today excited about the prospects of snow overnight tonight.  Most of the school systems have already made decisions about delays tomorrow morning, though we have yet to hear about Howard County.  The forecast is for a dusting to 3 inches of snow.

I'm still much like a kid deep down, I guess, since I love getting snow, and even the prospect of school getting delayed or cancelled is exciting.  Part of it is being able to put aside the responsibilities of being an adult, at least for a little while, when everything shuts down as a result of the bad weather.  The other is just a love of snow.  When it's as bitterly cold as it is right now, it seems like a waste not to have snow to go along with it.

I'm reminded of the heavy snows of my childhood, and one in particular:  the blizzard of '79.  My family and I had gone to visit my grandparents, who lived in the little town of Libertytown, MD.  We were aware of the blizzard coming our way, and the night before, with schools already cancelled, decided to stay at there home one more night.  The following day, we awoke to a winter wonderland, with more than half a foot of snow.  We dug out my grandparent's driveway and walkways, then we began the trek back home, to Upper Marlboro, MD.  The drive was hampered by the deep snow, more than a foot as we got closer to home.  There were only two clear lanes in either direction on the Beltway around DC, and once we got close to our neighborhood, the roads were barely clear enough to allow two cars to pass each other.  Our neighborhood street had not been plowed at all, and we had to park at a neighbors house until a path could be dug to our house.  The whole neighborhood was out digging, and we eventually were able to get our car up the street to our house.  The snow was up to my waist.  I remember our dog, Ginger, struggled to hop thru the snow (she was a terrier mix, and weighed less than 25 pounds).  I think school was out for a week while we dug out and waited for it to melt.  Those are fun memories.

We just received the news that Howard County is delayed two hours tomorrow, as I'm typing this, and weather conditions will be reevaluated tomorrow morning.  I have a truly happy daughter.

I'm thankful tonight, given the potential bad weather and current cold spell, coupled with my illness, that I'm able to take off and rest, as this is clearly what my body needs right now.  Tomorrow may bring more of the same.

Stay safe out there, and have a wonderful evening.

Faithful Pup Scout at 16

We received the phone call in early February 2002 from my Aunt K in Pittsburgh:  The breeder that had provided two Maltese pups, Rocki and Penny, to my aunt's family, had a single female pup available from the same parents, born on January 1, 2002.  Did we want her?  My wife, Teresa, and I had discussed it at length and we knew we wanted a dog.  Teresa had fallen in love with Rocki & Penny upon meeting them a few years before, and the chance at getting a Maltese was too exciting to pass up.  Teresa promised she would take care of her if we put up the money for her.  I said okay.

The breeder sent us several pics and told us we could have her at 10 weeks.  We circled the mid-March date and made arrangements to stay with my aunt's family.  Teresa already named her.  She was "Scout," named for the little girl in Teresa's favorite novel, "To Kill A Mockingbird."

March rolled around and we excitedly made the trip to Pittsburgh, loaded up with puppy food, a crate, collar, leash, toys, and treats.  We arrived at Aunt K's at about 2pm, after a 5 hour rainy cold trip.  We were there no longer than 30 minutes when the breeder rang the doorbell, arriving with little Scout.  And little she was!  She barely filled the palms of our hands!  But it was love at first sight for Teresa.  Scout was definitely her dog.

She was nervous at first, but soon Scout was chasing the two other larger dogs around the house, yapping and playing trying to exert her authority.  It was fun to watch.  Teresa, who had never had a dog before, was clearly enamored by her new little pup.

We stayed overnight, then went to church with Aunt K and her family, leaving Scout in her crate for the first time.  After lunch, we packed for the long drive home, making a nice little area for Scout just behind the front seats of our Jeep Cherokee.

It was snowy through the mountains, so the drive was even longer with the heavy, slow traffic.  We stopped at a rest area along the PA Turnpike.  Scout was napping, and Teresa and I both had to use the rest room.  When we returned, Scout was awake and seemed to be wondering what happened to us.  We took her for a little walk in the snow, then loaded back up and drove the rest of the way home.

We are still in the same home today.  Teresa passed away only two years later, but Scout will always be her dog.  Yesterday, we celebrated Scout's 16th birthday.  She is my shadow and my companion, and Melody has adopted her as her little "big" sister.  We watch as her little body ages somewhat gracefully.  She sleeps most of the time.  We carry her 9 pound body around the house now, only because it's easier than waiting on her to walk slowly across the room.  She doesn't do stairs anymore.

We know our time with Scout is growing short.  At 16, we're on borrowed time, knowing that the Maltese breed averages 8-12 years.  We love our little Faithful Pup Scout.  Happy Birthday, old girl.

Have a great evening, everyone!

A Few Of My Favorite Things...

A few of my favorite things....

• I love my little girl...
• Seeing IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE on the big screen at the AFI Silver Theater in downtown Silver Spring, MD...
• Being married to my best friend.  My happiest days were with my T2... I miss her everyday!
• Waking up early and hitting the road before the sun comes up at the start of a road trip...
• That first drop of every great roller coaster...
• Coffee at breakfast at a roadside diner...
• My Faithful Pup Scout, my companion and shadow for 16 years...
• New fallen snow...
• Baseball season, even with a 38-year World Series drought for my Pittsburgh Pirates... Go Bucs!
• A '68-'72 model year Olds 442...
• The city of Pittsburgh...
• A Mark Norman message...
• Mom and Dad - my wonderful supportive parents...
• A really good pizza...or any pizza, really...
• Planning my next road trip...
• A really good and hearty chili recipe...
• Log homes...
• My dedicated employees...
• A Steelers win!
• Walking around the University of Maryland's College Park campus with my daughter...
• Packing for a vacation...
• Getting a random text from a really great friend...
• Coasting over a mountain ridge with the top down in my 2-seater as the sun comes up...
• The Black Hills of South Dakota, my second favorite state...
• My Pap (my grandfather)...the greatest man I've ever known!
• Moments of solitude and prayer with my Lord and Savior...

2017 Year-In-Review

While largely dormant in 2017, Away From The Things Of Man is still ticking, just with less than regular activity.  I want that to change, but life's priorities are ever changing, and the importance of sharing my thoughts on a variety of subjects takes a backseat to my roles of father, dog-owner, and public servant, as well as enjoying the enthusiasm of travel and roller coasters.  Teen daughter Melody's life and interests trump my own, and time only gives us 24 hours a day.  Factor in the needed sleep my half-century-old body needs on a daily basis, and I just don't have the time I want to write regularly.

However, with the end of 2017 upon us, it seems like now is a good time to throw out a year-in-review.  The Good Lord took such great care of us this year, and we're so thankful to Him for all the ways He has blessed us.  I'm sharing this as a way of summarizing the past year and bringing currency to the blog, as well as a way for me to document for my daughter all of our activities.  So here, in bullet form, is a list of our major events from the past year:

• January - We celebrated Faithful Pup Scout's 15th birthday.  She was born on January 1, 2002, and we picked her up from the breeder in the Pittsburgh area about 10 weeks later.  Two of her sisters (from the same parents, but earlier litters by several years) also lived into their 16th year, so while Scout is aging quickly but gracefully, we expect her to be with us for at least another year.
• January - Work trip to Fort Worth, TX.  I travel several times each year in my job, and the trip to Ft. Worth a week into the new year was planned months before.
• January - Trip to DC and the US Holocaust Memorial.  Daughter Melody and I decided to take more trips into DC since it's so close to our home, and it makes sense to take advantage of the many sites and activities.  This was the first of several trips we made this year.
• January - Trip to Charlottesville, VA, to see twenty one pilots in concert at John Paul Jones Arena.  Melody became a big fan of their music, and the chance to go to a concert (and she begged me to go for months in advance), I decided to surprise her with tickets.  The only unfortunate issues for me were that it meant she would miss a day of school, and it ended up being at the same exact time as the AFC Championship game in which my favorite team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, were playing.  Despite miserable weather, and me having no chance to actually watch the game, relying on text updates from my Dad -- given that the Steelers got their butts beat by the New England Patriots made me glad, in hindsight, that I didn't see the game -- the show was very good, and Melody had a significant memory of a lifetime.
• February - Trip to Gettysburg for snow tubing at Liberty Ski Resort, and Hershey's Chocolate World.  Melody and I plan a trip each year to go snow tubing, and even though the weather was lousy (it was almost too warm), we had a great time this year.  We took side trips to Gettysburg and to Hershey.
• March - Women's NCAA Basketball Tournament game at the University of Maryland.  While we didn't go to a lot of games this year, we always like to see the Lady Terps.  They're always competitive, and while their season ended earlier than we hoped, it was a good team and we had a blast.
• April - Spring Break trip to Kings Dominion and Busch Gardens.  We almost always take a big trip over Spring Break, but this year we decided to keep things close to home while still doing something fun.  We hadn't been to KD in a while, and the day we spent there was a lot of fun.  We rode almost every coaster and stayed until almost dusk.  The following day, we drove down to Williamsburg and spent the first of several days at Busch Gardens.  BG was much more crowded than KD, so it wasn't quite as much fun.  We offset that with a side trip to Jamestown and a visit through Colonial Williamsburg.  It was a fun week.
• April - Remembering Teresa at Reservoir High School on April 19th with new friends and old.  We gathered with a bunch of our friends and family at Reservoir High School to remember my wife, Teresa, who passed away in 2004.  It was a nice time, and it felt good to share stories with those friends who had never met Teresa.  We followed it up by heading over to Loony's Pub until late.
• April - Bengies Drive-in to see BOSS BABY and HIDDEN FIGURES.  The Bengies Drive-in, in Middle River, MD, is the last remaining drive-in movie theater in the state.  We try to visit and see movies at least a half-dozen times each season, which begins in April and runs until November.
• May - Teresa Shirlen Freed Memorial Scholarship Award at Reservoir High School's Awards night.  After Teresa passed away, Reservoir High School wanted to create a scholarship award for a worthy graduating senior each year.  We've been invited almost every year since, and sometimes participate in the awarding of the scholarship.  Reservoir is blessed with many smart and talented students, and despite its short history, it has a rich history.  We are proud to be a part of that.
• May - Trip to DC to see the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, the Martin Luther King, JR, Memorial, the World War I Memorial, and the World War II Memorial.  Melody had visited these same sites just a week before during a school field trip and wanted to share them with me.  I've lived in the DC area my entire life, but had never been to any of these memorials, so it was a treat for me to experience them with my daughter.
• June - My birthday, celebrated with family at La Palapa Too, along with Melody's band concert at Hammond High School.  48 years old.  The concert was a highlight.  Melody is thriving as a musician.
• June - Mom and Dad's 50th Wedding Anniversary!  We didn't have a big party, nor a big celebration.  We just had a nice dinner at a favorite restaurant with the whole family.  Later, we sent them to a Chicago concert at the end of July.
• June - Received the scrapbook of letters of remembrance and reflection to Melody written by students at Mount Hebron High School who were taught by my wife just days after her death and homegoing, given to us by Greg Murach at Grace Community Church.  This was one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received.
• June - Daddy-Daughter Luau hosted by our Johns Hopkins Road Chick-Fil-A.  We felt very out of place (it was clearly designed for much younger daughters), but it was a memory and we had fun.
• June - Celebrated Father's Day.  I have the best father.  I have the best father-in-law.  And I have the best daughter.  I love them all.
• June - Road trip to Pittsburgh, PA, and Cleveland, Sandusky, and Columbus, OH, featuring stops at The Strip District, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Christmas Story House, and seeing another twenty one pilots concert at Nationwide Arena.  This was a road trip we had not planned on having, but after surprising Melody once again with tickets to see twenty one pilots in their hometown, we put together a pretty cool little vacation.  Melody has her own write-up about this trip, so I won't go into detail, but it was a really memorable trip, and she talks about it all the time.
• June - Daryl Hall and John Oates and Tears For Fears concert at Verizon Center in DC.  This was the year of the concert, and we went to quite a few.  This one was kind of an after-thought, but it was a lot of fun.  Tears For Fears sounds just like they did in the 80s, and our only disappointment was that they didn't feature a few of their deeper album cuts.  Hall and Oates were awesome!  They took their music in new directions, and sounded great.  I wasn't happy with the overall sound at the Verizon Center, but the music was great.
• June - Work trip to Oklahoma City, OK.  More work stuff.
• June - Melody's week at Band Camp, featuring a twin bill of concerts at the end of the week.  I returned home from OKC just in time to see Melody perform in a couple of great shows at this music camp.  She tried out new instruments and showed just how serious she has become as a musician.
• June - Dinner at the Tomato Palace a few days before they closed forever, followed by a stroll around Lake Kittamaqundi at Columbia's Lakefront.  It was a hot and humid night, and we were disappointed to hear that one of our favorite restaurants, the Tomato Palace, was closing, but we always have a great time together.
• July - Grace Adventures Day Camp.  Melody has attended this camp at our church, Grace Community, since she was 5 years old.  It has been a blessing to us and provides so much fun and enjoyment to her.
• July - Celebrated Independence Day at the Columbia Lakefront.  We had a wonderful dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger, then headed over the Mall, found a prime parking space, and watched the fireworks.  Not only did we have a good view of the fireworks, we were able to get out of the parking lot very quickly, unlike the year before, and we made it home in record time.
• July - Celebrated Independence Day at the Damascus parade.  The following weekend, we went to Damascus for the town's big parade, then watched fireworks, with our friends at First Baptist Church.
• July - Saw HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE with the National Symphony Orchestra at Wolf Trap.  Melody, an avid Harry Potter fan, dressed in her Hogwarts best, and we headed to Wolf Trap for a fine evening of music and the first Harry Potter film.  
• July - Summer Vacation begins with a flight to Milwaukee, and a visit to Six Flags Great America outside of Chicago, and our annual trip to Giordano's.  This was the big vacation of 2017, and continued with G-Fest XXIV and the Pacific Northwest.  
• July - G-Fest XXIV, featuring Shinji Higuchi, Michiru Oshima, Yuji Kaida, Ryuki Kitaoka, Kazuhiro Hakagawa, Riyotaka Taguchi, Tony Isabella, and Robert Scott Field.  G-Fest is the largest gathering of fans of Japanese giant monsters in North America.
• July - Flight to Seattle, WA, visiting Pike Place Market, Olympic National Park, Cape Disappointment, Astoria, OR, Tillamook Cheese Factory, Cape Meares, Portland, OR, the Columbia River Gorge, Voodoo Donuts, Mount Saint Helens, Mount Rainier, the Seattle Aquarium, the Museum of Pop Culture, and the Space Needle.  Spectacular scenery!
• July - Celebrated what would have been our 18th Wedding Anniversary.  I still fondly remember our wedding day, one of the best days of my life, and marriage to my best friend.  I miss her every day.
• July - Melody went to New York City.  Just days after returning from the Pacific Northwest, Melody went off to NYC with our great friends, the Garners.
• August - Day Trip to Skyline Drive in Shenandoah National Park.  The week after returning from NYC, Melody went off to her grandparent's for two weeks of fun.  While she was away, I took my own little road trip with a day trip to Skyline Drive in my little 2-seater.  It was a wonderfully hot day, but I had a good time.
• August - Melody went to Pigeon Forge, TN, with her grandparents.  Another incredible vacation for Melody, this time to the Great Smokies.
• August - Experienced the almost-total eclipse of the sun.  Like everyone else around the world, we watched things get darker for a few minutes, then we went back to our normal routines.
• August - Trip to see The Orchestra (music of the Electric Light Orchestra) at the American Music Theatre in Lancaster, PA.  These guys were great!  We love the music of ELO, and every member of the band played with ELO at some point. What an awesome concert!
• August - Continued our trip with stops at the National Christmas Center, Strasburg Railroad, Dutch Wonderland, Roadside America, and Hersheypark.  We had a great few days enjoying Dutch Country and Hershey's Chocolate World.
• August - Trip to DC to the National Gallery of Art.  Continuing our regular trips into DC to visit the cool sites.  Melody picked this museum out of all of the many museums in the city.
• September - Saw YES (featuring Jon Anderson, Rick Wakeman, and Trevor Rabin) perform in concert at Wolf Trap.  We love the music of Yes, and this was our first opportunity to see this version of the group.  In the past, we saw the Chris Squire/Alan White/Steve Howe version of Yes, and, while good, seeing Jon Anderson was a thrill.  These guys still have it.  This was the best show I saw all year, and we saw a LOT of concerts!
• September - Work trip to Oklahoma City, OK.  Again.
• October - Surgery to remove a mole.  My dermatologist had concerns about several moles on my back, and one in particular required surgery to remove.  While I got good news overall that it was not cancerous, it was more painful and larger than I expected, and waiting for the results was worrisome.  Unfortunately, I still have a lot of questionable moles and will likely experience more surgeries.
• October - Trip to DC to the National Archives and the National Museum of the American Indian, researching Melody's History Day project.  This is a year-long project for school, and Melody wanted to research this the right way.
• October - Visited Six Flags America for Fright Fest.  Melody and I took my father to Six Flags for this annual tradition.  We had a fun evening, but it was very humid.  Also, Six Flags has the worst food of any amusement park chain.
• October - Grace Students Fall Retreat at NorthBay.  Good time, and very meaningful.  I worked in the kitchen and cleaned dishes for two days.
• October - Trip to Williamsburg with the whole family for Busch Gardens Howl-O-Scream.  While my mother didn't join us for the first time (she volunteered to care for Faithful Pup Scout), we had a nice time regardless.  It was crowded, as usual, but we were able to see all of the sites we wanted to see, and we rode all of the coasters at least once.  It was a lot of fun.
• October - Homecoming at the University of Maryland.  While we didn't go to the football game, we hung out on campus all morning to see the Mighty Sound of Maryland rehearse their halftime show.
• October - Corn maze and pumpkin farm.  We like to do at least one of these each Fall, and we decided to go to Sharp's at Waterford Farm in the wilds of Howard County.
• November - Melody attended the Imagine Dragons concert at Capital One Arena in DC.  This time, I didn't go, and sent Aunt G to take Melody to this concert.  It was a great time, she said.
• November - Season's end at the Bengies Drive-in, with THE SANDLOT and BACK TO THE FUTURE.  It was great to see these movies on the big screen.
• November - TPed Grammy and Pap's house!  After the drive-in, we stopped by my parent's house and I shared with Melody that time-honored tradition of toilet papering a house!  We were quiet and successful, and the following morning we called my parents to find out if they would tell us about it.  Finally, after hemming and hawing, they let on that something happened, and they then quickly figured out that we knew something about it.  It was a great prank!
• November - Opening season women's basketball game with the Maryland Terrapins!  With a win, the Lady Terps gave us a great evening at the University of Maryland's Xfinity Center.
• November - Celebrating Uncle D's and Melody's birthdays with family.  We had a big party with the whole family to celebrate a joint party for the birthday kids.  It was topped off by a big Steelers win.
• November - PVMS Cluster Concert.  Melody is playing with the Honor Band, and they hosted in-coming Sixth Graders so that they could experience playing with the Big Kids.
• November - Melody's 14th birthday.  We celebrated with dinner with the grandparents at the local Japanese Steak House.  Lots of fun.
• November - Death and homegoing of my cousin, Pam Fike.  Pam died unexpectedly at the age of 54.
• November - Death and homegoing of my wife's aunt, Janice Russ.  Aunt Janice passed away after a long bout with cancer.
• November - Thanksgiving and Aunt G's engagement.  Thanksgiving dinner at Mom and Dad's, along with lots of family.  We also were witness to my sister's engagement to her boyfriend, Ron.  Lots of excitement.
• December - Midnight Madness in Ellicott City, MD.  It was a cold night, but we had a blast experiencing this new tradition in historic EC.
• December - Melody's birthday party with friends to see WONDER.  We had lunch at MOD Pizza, then saw this very good movie.  No dry eyes.
• December - Coastin' Thru The Snow with ACE (American Coaster Enthusiasts) at Six Flags America's Holiday in the Park.  We met with our friends in ACE and had Extended Ride Time (ERT) on both the Wild One and Roar!
• December - Symphony of Lights at Merriweather Post.  This is a favorite tradition, and the lights looked festive.
• December - IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE at the AFI Silver Theater in Silver Spring, MD... an annual tradition.  My favorite movie, and seeing it on the big screen is a thrill.
• December - STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI.  This was an Event movie.  We give it 4 stars.
• December - Patuxent Valley Middle School's Winter Concert.  A great show.  I'm very proud of my musician daughter.
• December - Chili Cook-off Champ!  For our holiday office party, my employees had a chili cook-off.  I entered, since I love chili cook-offs.  And I won.
• December - Christmas Lights at Seneca Creek State Park.  We never saw these lights before, but it was a beautiful setting and we enjoyed driving through the park.  It was crowded, though.
• December - Christmas Eve at First Baptist Church of Damascus.  A very meaningful service with a message by my father-in-law pastor, and lots of music (both clarinet and singing) by my daughter.  Following the service, we celebrated with all four grandparents late into the evening.
• December - Christmas with the family.  Spent the whole day opening presents with the whole family, followed by a Steelers win for the second year in a row.
• December - Busch Gardens Christmas Town in Williamsburg, VA.  Melody and I took our annual road trip to Williamsburg, VA, to visit BG decorated for Christmas.  We had a great time, but it was colder than we remember it ever being, and every roller coaster was closed, as a result.  It was a good time, but cooooooold!
• December - Celebrated Pap's birthday.  The whole family gathered one more time this year for a dinner and to celebrate my father's 73rd birthday.
• December - New Years Eve.  At home, with my daughter and our Faithful Pup Scout (soon to be 16 years old), with our traditional Chinese carry-out feast for dinner.  I hope we make it to midnight!

Happy New Year, everyone!  May God bless everyone!

Sixteen Years Ago

I wrote the following essay as a blog post four years ago.  Never forget the significance of today, nor those who lost their lives on that fateful day.

***

Today is one of those days where we remember.  We remember exactly what we were doing on September 11, 2001; we remember those who lost their lives tragically on that day, and we remember those first responders who tried to help and rescue so many.  It will always be a hard day for Americans, as seldom in our history, and particularly in our modern history, have we been attacked on our own soil.  And it changed the way we go about our daily lives.

This is my 9/11 story.  It is hardly a compelling story, nor is it surrounded in tragedy.  It is just the story of how my wife and I dealt with what transpired on that awful day.

It really was a nice Tuesday, kind of warm, and bright and sunny.  We had been having mechanical problems with our Jeep Cherokee, and it was in the shop being looked at.  Teresa, my wife, was going to ride with a co-worker to Mt. Hebron High School, where she worked as a 9th-grade English teacher.  I had gone to work as usual earlier that morning, arriving at 6:30 a.m.  I was a team lead in the central section of the VFR (Visual Flight Rules) Charting office within the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) in downtown Silver Spring, MD.  We worked on the 3rd floor of a 13-story building, part of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) complex next to the Silver Spring Metro, the fourth of four high-rises on the southwest side of the tracks along East West Highway.

My boss was out of the office that day, so I was in charge.  I was sitting at my desk talking to one of our IT guys when I received an email.  It was from one of the employees in our airports division, and it stated, "A plane just hit the World Trade Center."  It had been sent out to our entire office.  Almost everyone assumed it was a small plane that must have accidentally hit the building.  I pulled out the New York Terminal Area Chart, a 1:250,000 scale VFR aeronautical chart, to take a look at that area of NYC to see if there was anything wrong with the chart.  At about the same time, one of the guys on the other side of the office turned on a small black and white TV he had in his cubicle, just in time to see the second plane hit the other tower.  Word got around the office very quickly that this was no accident.  I quickly sent my wife an email explaining what was happening, that both towers of the World Trade Center had been hit by planes, and that we were trying to figure out what was going on.  She called me almost immediately after she got the message.  I could hear the worry in her voice.  They had a TV on in the 9th grade team teacher's office and were watching what was going on.  We both prayed, said we loved each other, and I tried to concentrate on work.

About that time we received word that something had hit the Pentagon, and mass pandemonium took over.  My boss's boss came rushing past my cubicle and said, "Evacuate the building, let's just get out of here.  Please account for all of your employees."  There were false rumors and stories of bombs going off all over downtown DC, and that government buildings all over the area might be targets for more jets.  I rushed around my office and made sure everyone had a way to get home.  Some offered to take other's home.  There was a great amount of cooperation despite the panic many were feeling.  One of my co-workers lived downtown, and I told her to be very careful.  Very few Metro trains were running into the city.  Most were heading out only.  Silver Spring, being right on the edge of northern DC, was a hot spot of employment in the DC area, but still considered the suburbs.  I called Teresa and told her we were evacuating.  She said that schools were going to release early, and then she would try to get home.  She was still dependent on her co-worker due to her not having a car.  I told her to be careful, and she said the same.  She was very scared.  I said I love you, and started to head for the exit.

Then I saw Greg.  Greg was concerned about how he was going to get home, since he took the train from the northeast Maryland suburbs to Union Station in downtown DC, then he took Metro from there to Silver Spring.  I told him that I doubted he be able to catch any trains running that day, and I offered him a ride.  He took me up on it, and we headed out.

I had parked on the G1 level, which meant I was only one level down from the exit.  NOAA employees had apparently decided at the same time as the FAA to go home, so there was a huge line of cars trying to get out of the garage, and it took us about 30 minutes to get out.  Once on the road, traffic moved fairly well.  Greg lived near and on the far side of Fort Meade, which is also home to the National Security Agency.  We figured that we might want to try to avoid that area since the NSA might be a hotbed of security given what was happening.  I kept the radio on WTOP, the local all-news station, to keep abreast of what was happening.  Greg agreed with my course of action, to take the Capital Beltway over to the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, then to Rt. 32 which would take us right to Greg's car, parked in the commuter rail parking lot near Fort Meade.

Traffic continued to move well all the way up the parkway. When we got to Rt. 32, though, it was closed with emergency personnel blocking the exits.  Apparently, we were right about Fort Meade being busy.  So we took the next exit, Route 175, which would skirt just north of the NSA and take us right to the train station.  However, we his our first traffic jam of the trip just after jumping on 175 and we crawled the rest of the way.

The news on the radio was all shock and panic, with both WTC buildings having collapsed.  There were still many bad rumors flying around about incidents in and around DC, which didn't help.  We finally got through the traffic and I was able to drop Greg off at his car.  I wished him well, and he offered me a few tips on alternate ways home.  I lived in Laurel, which was only about 10 to 15 minutes away, normally, but with the traffic around Fort Meade, I had to make a big circle north of Fort Meade, and had clear sailing all the way home.  I turned on the TV and watched countless replays of the towers collapsing, which filled me with awe, but horror as well.  Within the hour, Teresa arrived home, and we hugged for a long time.  We had only been living in our house for a little over a month, so we really didn't know any of our neighbors, and we felt like we only had each other at that moment.  We sat in front of the TV all afternoon watching what was happening in New York, finding out about the other planes, the available details regarding the Pentagon, and the crash in PA.  Teresa made us a light dinner, but neither of us was hungry.

I can't really put into words what we were feeling.  There was this fear that gripped us, and immense sadness about all who had died.  We hoped we wouldn't have to work the following day so we could just be with each other.  We prayed.  We hugged and sat close to each other.  This was an event neither of us had ever experienced.  We weren't old enough to remember when John F. Kennedy was assassinated.  The only comparable was the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion, which occurred when we were in high school.

We went to bed that night knowing we would be working the next day, and it would be a challenge to try to attempt anything normal.  We didn't want to be apart, but we also knew we had to work.  We prayed for so many that night.  And then we tried to sleep.  I don't know what time it was when we finally fell asleep.  It was pretty late.  I just kept praying to God how thankful I was that my family was all accounted for and okay.  And I prayed that God would bless America.

Hug and kiss your loved ones tonight, everyone.  Make sure they know how much you love them.  You can't say it enough.