My daughter and I went out to eat for dinner this evening to one of our favorite area restaurants, Houlihan's. The food there is pretty good, and we can almost always get a table as soon as we walk in. Their menu is eclectic enough that I get something different to try every time I go there, and enjoy it.
Anyway, while we were sitting there eating, my eyes drifted around the restaurant. I like to people watch. I always find it interesting to see who might be there on a first date. Their body language usually gives them away. They seem to be just a bit nervous, they don't make eye contact with their date, necessarily, and sometimes you can see the little flirtations that one or the other might be exhibiting. It's kind of fun. There were at least two couples there on dates, and I told Melody, just for kicks. She's 10 and while dating is still quite a ways off for her, I don't want her to not know it exists, especially since I still date. I'll tell her what signs to look for, and she giggles and leans on my shoulder, slightly embarrassed about the whole thing.
This afternoon, I watched the movie SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK. It was good, but I don't understand why it got all the awards it did. What I didn't like was the language. So often, in a movie like this, it's just gratuitous. It doesn't need to be there. It took me out of the movie a few times. What I did focus on was the developing relationship between the two leads. It made me think about how love works. I wish I knew how it works, but it's interesting to watch and think about. I've heard so many say that there is only one person in the world that's your perfect match. I don't necessarily believe that. I do think God knows who your perfect match is, but there may be many people who could potentially be a great match with someone. I look at the fact that I was married to someone so wonderful as my wife, and after she died, if there were no others who I could match with, I'd be pretty depressed.
But your circle of possibilities is only as large as your circle. If you grow up in a small town somewhere, and you never move out of that town, then the possibilities of matching with someone are limited to that small town. And that's fine. If God says it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.
I believe there are many women out there that are great matches for me. While I believe God knows who that one person is, I do not, and it's up to me to find her. So I have my mental criteria of what to look for. I know, physically, what I find attractive, and that's what I look for first. And I think everyone has their own way of quantifying what attractive means to them. We're all wired differently. What I find attractive isn't going to necessarily match what someone else finds attractive. I find that fascinating, but it's true, because we're all individuals.
Attractiveness doesn't define love, however. There are so many other parts to it. How you mesh with someone from a personality aspect is important. Whether you have common likes and dislikes. Your faith. Chemistry. It all adds up to make a complete person, and it's that complete person who you either love or don't love. Sure you can "love" how a person looks, or "love" that you have so much in common with someone else, but I don't think there is true love without putting together a complete person. That's what makes it so fascinating to me, and why we are attracted to a specific person.
So, with that said, I think I'll be tackling another, more high-profile online dating site again, and we'll see where this gets me. While this is not a New Year's resolution, it is one from last year that I didn't follow through on, and I'm going to approach this with a little more seriousness this time around. I'm ready. My daughter thinks I'm ready. My family thinks I'm ready (they've been pushing me for several years now!). Stay tuned. If nothing else, and I know this is the wrong attitude to take into this, but...., I'll have some great material for the blog.
Have a great evening, everyone!
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