Friday, January 3, 2014

Dating Follies

I joined another online dating site going on four months now.  I have had zero dates in that time.  I've had a few interested ladies contact me, but none fit the criteria I have in my profile.  I've contacted about a dozen different women, but none ever returned my interest.  It's the same old story.  I've done this with several other dating sites over the years, with the same results.  The women I'm interested in never seem to be interested in me, and those who contact me don't interest me.  As it is, I'm on a drought of over a year without a date.

For a long while, I really wasn't interested in dating anyone.  I tend to feel that way from time to time.  I just get tired of rejection, and it's easier and one less stress in my life if I just don't deal with it.  But then I long for the companionship that comes with a relationship, and the intimacy that follows as you get to know someone.  I miss it.  I was married for almost 5 years and it was awesome!  As a Christ-follower, I know He has plans for me that I don't know about, and I realize I need to have patience, but I really wish He would humor me a little bit.

I know attraction is more than physical qualities, but, frankly, physical attraction has to be there.  I hate to be a typical male in that regard, but it's true, and I would guess most men feel that way.  I'm not looking for a model or beauty contestant, but I certainly want to find someone I'm attracted to.  And while I don't have any limitations on this, I do find myself attracted to tall women.

I'm an introvert, but I'm really attracted to extroverts.  I've dated both, and while I may have a lot in common with introverts, I tend to have more fun with extroverts.  But it goes deeper than that.  There has to be some common ground, and that starts with a common faith.  I have a personal relationship with God, and the person I date must have that, as well.  With Him, everything else is possible.

As I said, I've had a little bit of success over the years.  It's not like the dating sites have been a total waste of time (and money).  I dated one young lady at, and it lasted a couple of months, with a handful of dates.  She was just a little too...let's say, flamboyant for me.  There was another who I really liked a lot, but after a couple of dates, she told me she didn't feel the same way about me.  It's disappointing when you think you've found someone who you really feel strongly about, and they don't feel the same, but that's why you have to date.  It's not magic.  I go on very few second dates.

I'm not a big fan of dating, really.  I particularly hate blind dates, and I've had more than my fair share of them.  Obviously, none have ever worked out for me.  But it just seems that, no matter what your expectations might be on a blind date, they turn out totally different.  It can be very frustrating.

Anyway, what prompted this topic is that I received a date request on the site I'm currently on.  It's the first time I've received one.  I give women who contact a guy a lot of credit.  I'm a bit old fashioned and believe the guy should be the one to take the initiative, but I know how hard that is.  Here's the problem, though.  Why do so many women provide photos that don't give any indication as to what they look like?  This woman looks fine...I don't see any facial tattoos or anything, but then I can't really see much of her face.  The picture shows her from the nose up, and it's the only pic on her profile.  In addition, she is older than me.  Not much, but still outside of my established interest on my profile.  Lastly, she is not a Christian.  I make it so clear that this is a requirement, but I guess it's difficult for non-Christians to understand why this is so important.  So, should I give her a chance?

I'll keep looking.  I really do want to find someone.  I'm not desperate, but I hate that my daughter doesn't know what it's like to have a mom.  That's a big deal.  So we'll see how it goes.

Have a great evening, everyone!  Stay warm!

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