I did something that I'm not proud of. I don't behoove others for doing this, but I've always thought I was above such things. The only good thing is that it wasn't my idea....my boss actually suggested I do it. Of course, now that I'm doing it, I feel guilty for having done it. In fact, I don't know what to do now.
So what did I do? I took off from work for a mental health day. I'm had a rough couple of months, both at work and at home, and I haven't been at my best as a result. It had started to become noticeable. A colleague of mine first suggested that I take a whole week, or two, to myself, away from home, away from work, and away from family, my daughter included. I haven't done anything like that since before I entered management, about five months after the death of my wife. So I had a meeting with my new boss yesterday, and she suggested I take a day to myself. As a compromise, I agreed, reluctantly, to take one day as soon as I could clear my schedule. And today ended up being the best day for me.
I came home after work yesterday and began to relax. My new air conditioner/heat pump was delivered earlier in the day, so I'm very happy to have a comfortable home once again. After some dinner and a little TV watching, I fell asleep. I woke up at around 10 just as a big thunderstorm rumbled through. Faithful Pup Scout, who was also home, doesn't like the sound of thunder, and she started to worry and shake. I decided that the best thing would be to just go to bed, and hope the t-storm would pass and Scout would relax.
I awoke to a phone call at around 8 a.m. I know I could've slept another couple of hours. Instead, I laid in the bed wondering how I should enjoy my day. I thought about a day at the spa. Maybe get my first massage...but apparently it's difficult to get a same-day appointment. I thought about a drive, maybe go north, or west....but it's just so doggone HOT outside! A drive isn't the same if it's too hot to even put the top down. I thought about going downtown, see a museum...but there are just too many tourists in town. Maybe I'll do something later. For now, I'm watching GROSSE POINTE BLANK, which is surprisingly NOT on Eric's Top 50 Movie List, but should be. I've decided that, if there should ever be a movie made about my life, John Cusack is my choice to play me. Scout is very content to have me sitting on the couch with her, doing a whole lot of nothing.
My goal in taking the day off was to just shut down for a while and not deal with anything. I have to be "on" all the time, at work (as THE BOSS), at home (as THE DAD)....I really don't take the time to shut myself "off". Even now, I don't feel like I'm totally shut down. I'm too busy trying to figure out how to spend my day and, as the minutes tick away, I find myself stressing about it. What a mess...
So if YOU, my reader, could do anything at all for a single day, anything you wanted, without any responsibilities, what would you do? It's too late for me.
Enjoy your day, everyone!
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