I was fascinated to hear that a friend who recently passed away saved his first kiss for the girl he eventually married. I wish I could have said that. I was way too nervous around girls to even try to kiss them. I figured that my first kiss would be something special and mean something to the girl who got it. Well, that wasn't how it worked out for me. I haven't kissed very many women. And I'm not talking about a "greeting" kiss, or a peck on the cheek, or anything not resembling what one might define as romantic. In fact, there's only one woman I've ever kissed who told me later she went "ga-ga" over it. That was my wife, not too long before we were married. It was quite a compliment.
My first real kiss is kind of hard to define. It wasn't with someone I fell in love with, nor was it very romantic. I'd love to say that I waited until the right girl came along, but, actually, you could say I was cornered and gave in to a very pushy young lady when I was a Junior in high school. I had been invited to a party at a friend's house, and I ended up befriending the young lady, who I didn't know before that night, and she got the wrong idea about me, shadowing me wherever I went for a while. I tried to avoid her for much of the night, and I was a wall flower anyway, so I slinked off to a corner of the room and tried to hide. In the meantime, she was dancing up a storm all over the room when, rather suddenly, she fainted. Apparently, she had overdone it. She came to very quickly, and was helped to the couch, right next to me. She then proceeded to lean on me, then laid her head on my shoulder. She kept telling me she was okay, and joked that she wasn't coming on to me. I finally escaped and found a wall to lean on across the room. She made her way over to me, and the next thing I knew, I was cornered. She actually backed me into a corner, and pressed her lips into mine. I was so uncomfortable, but didn't know how to get out of the situation. I literally just let her have her way with me, and made out with her for the next half hour or so. I was in no way attracted to her. She was very pushy. I felt like everyone in the room was staring at us. But I didn't know what to do. At some point, she came up for air, and I politely excused myself to the bathroom so I could get away. When I came out, I decided that it was time for me to get out of there and head home. I didn't say good bye.
I remember not too long after that, I was invited to a birthday party for a friend from down the street. She had invited a lot of friends from school and from around our neighborhood. As the evening went along, and with so many teens in the room, a game of "Spin the Bottle" was started. Being rather naive, I didn't know what the game was all about, but I found out fairly quickly. Jane, the birthday girl, was the first one I had to kiss, and to make it easier, we were allowed to go behind a chair to kiss "in private". Jane actually kissed me, and I later learned she had a huge crush on me. Several minutes later, it was my turn again. This time I had to kiss my crush, Alice. I guess Alice didn't feel quite the same about me as I did for her, and I got an "air" kiss, which was no kiss at all. I felt very dejected.
Several years ago, I was dating "Kay", and things had gotten very serious. We had talked about marriage, and you might say we were "pre-engaged". It was a long-distance relationship. She lived in Oklahoma, and I live here in Maryland, so we were only able to see each other about once each month. When we did see each other, she tried to make up for lost time. She loved to kiss. I've never known anyone who liked kissing as much as she did. I should be clear here that I don't believe in sex outside of a marriage relationship, and Kay believed the same, so kissing was as physical as our relationship ever got. Unfortunately, it was quite exhausting. She had lots of energy. I was generally jet-lagged. But she sure smelled nice.
I never kissed on the first date. Even with Teresa, my wife, I waited until our second date, and I asked first. I broke this rule a few years ago on a date I met online at a dating site. She was one of the most beautiful women I've ever gone out with. That made her totally out of my league. And it turned out that we had nothing in common. I have no idea how we ended up getting matched together. I knew we weren't going to ever go out again after that night when she told me that she enjoyed sleeping in the nude, and regularly went to topless beaches with her friends. She was much too forward for someone like me. I was disappointed throughout the evening that she never asked me anything about myself, but she sure liked to talk about herself. Anyway, after a lengthy three hour first date, I walked her to her car, and she leaned in for a kiss good night. I broke my first date kissing rule, and regretted it. She wasn't worth it. I never saw her again.
I don't know how I got on this topic, but I'm also not sure how kissing fits into dating when you're over the age of 40. "Making out" just seems so inappropriate anymore. Sex is still out of the question, at least until and unless I get married again. I feel like I missed my chance.
I'm not against kissing, but there's a time and a place, as well as the right person, that one should wait for. I hope my daughter uses good judgement. You only get one first kiss.
Have a great evening, everyone.