Saturday, December 7, 2013

Dreaming Of My Wife

My wife died over nine years ago, and in all that time, I've only had dreams about her about a half-dozen times.  That makes me sad, though most of the dreams have not been "happy ending" dreams.  But you might think that I would have a lot of dreams about someone who was such a significant part of my life.  Maybe the Lord purposely keeps us from having dreams about loved ones who have passed on so that our healing can come about more quickly.  I don't know...

One of the first dreams I had about my wife was in the first year after she died.  It caught me by surprise, since I hadn't had any dreams about her up until that point, so I actually felt a bit emotional when I woke up.  The dream wasn't a very happy one.  In the dream, I was walking down the sidewalk in an unknown city far from here, and I bumped into her on the street.  She apologized to me, said that she had to go, and she had remarried and started a family with someone other guy.  It absolutely killed me, as it felt like I had been rejected by her.  She just kept apologizing to me, but she had no intention of returning to her old life.

Another dream was about her dying in a car accident, but coming back to let me know that she missed me, but had to "die" again and wouldn't be able to come back.  I could probably get this one analyzed by a professional and it would turn up all kinds of imagery, particularly related to being born again as a Christian.  Anyway, it was tough having to say goodbye, but it felt like it was a chance to say goodbye.

Last night's dream was really different, but really captured her well.  Teresa and I had taken many trips during our short married life, and this dream had us taking a trip to what appears to be a warm climate city, like Miami, or maybe even Los Angeles.  It was a trip for us to relax and let our hair down, which sounds like the type of trip I need to take right now!  I was wearing a tux without a tie, and I had asked Teresa to dress up in something she normally wouldn't wear, being how humble and conservative she was.  She had on a sexy strapless satin white dress, cut well above her knees.  She never would have worn something like that.  But there we were, all dressed up, very relaxed, laughing together, having fun while we walked up the sidewalk near a beach.  She looked so radiant, so beautiful, so much fun, and that, in turn, had me relaxed, something I sincerely have not felt in months.  I don't remember many details, and I woke up way too soon.  While the dream stayed with me, unlike so many others I've had, it has faded quite a bit since then.  What an awesome dream!

As I said, I just don't have enough dreams about my wonderful wife.  I wish I had them more often.  I just didn't have enough time with her.  Worse is that my daughter never got the chance to know her, since she died when Melody was only 5 months old.  I'm just glad that we will all be reunited one day.  So happy for eternal life with our Lord and savior.

Have a great Saturday, everyone!

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