Sunday, July 6, 2014

An Incredibly Ridiculous Bad Dream

I had a dream a few weeks ago.  I had been suffering from a severe head cold at the time, and I had been taking some meds that really knocked me out.  So my head was primed for some pretty intense, crazy, horrendously ridiculous dreams, and sure enough, I came through like a really good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, if you know what I mean.  (MST3K was a fantastic show that aired in the 90s about a guy and a couple of robot puppets who made fun of really bad movies.)  I awoke at around 2:30 a.m. after this really intense dream.  I really can't remember all of the details, and what I can remember was kind of embarrassing., what a dream!

It started with me getting into a car, which was my Dad's '72 Oldsmobile Cutlass, a car I really loved, and which was sold before I ever started driving.  I was driving down a dirt road and was really worried about getting the car dirty, because it was cleaned up very nicely.  I came up to a bridge over a rapidly moving creek that was partially washed out, so I had to get out and walk.  There were trees all around, and it was starting to get dark.  I was a little spooked since there was no one else around.  I crossed over the bridge and hiked down a path through the trees.  I came across a small cabin, and knocked on the door.  The door opened and there was a beautiful girl standing there.  She looked like a girl I had dated three years ago that I had met on eHarmony named Ann.  Ann invited me in and acted like she knew me, just as I recognized her.  She greeted me with a deep kiss and hug, and led me over to the couch.  She seemed really excited to see me.

(In reality, she had broken it off with me, telling me she really wasn't interested in continuing to get together.  I was a bit smitten by her.  She actually fit the type of woman I was looking for, and I was disappointed she didn't feel the same way.  But things were different here in the dream.  She seemed to feel more strongly about me than I did about her.)

I should note that my dreams don't always have sound, and this was one that didn't.  I can't recall any conversation.  She handed me a box.  I opened it, and inside was a can of shaving cream and a razor.  She then led me into another room where there was a large barber chair.  She had me sit in it, and she lowered the back of the chair so that I was parallel to the floor.  She climbed over me, straddling my waist with her legs pinning my arms to the armrests.  I couldn't move.  Then she lathered up my face and shaved off my mustache and all of my facial hair.  I was kind of angry at this point, since I didn't want her doing that, but she only laughed at me.  Then things got really weird.

She had a lot of makeup on, and she leaned close and gave me a big, sloppy kiss on the lips.  Then she pointed me toward a mirror and I had red lipstick smeared all over my mouth, almost like a clown.  She hopped off of me, and I realized my hands and feet were strapped to the chair, so I still couldn't move.  She moved over to a large lever on the floor, and moving it forward, my chair began to slowly spin.  It went faster and faster, and pretty soon, the whole room was a blur.  Even worse, I was getting dizzy, and as I got more and more dizzy, I started to get nauseous.  Soon, I felt like I was going to throw up.  Suddenly, the chair jerked to a halt, and I literally fell right out of the chair and onto the floor.  I felt really sick, and I just laid there on the floor trying to catch my breath.  I was sweating pretty badly, and my shirt was soaked.  I tried to stand up, but I was just too dizzy.  I realized I wasn't by myself, and looked up to see Ann standing there in a swimsuit.  She ran towards me and pushed me backwards, and I felt myself fall into a pool of water.  It was actually a fairly large swimming pool.  I couldn't swim, and began to submerge underwater.  I felt someone grab my arms and my head rose above the surface of the water.  It was Ann, and she turned me around and kissed me once again.  As she did, we went underwater again.  I pushed her away, and felt myself surface again.  And then I woke up.

And there was Faithful Pup Scout licking my face....  I can only imagine that the combination of my illness, the meds, and being tired caused me to have this crazy dream.  I'm not one to analyze the hidden meanings of dreams, so I'm not going to try to guess what this was about.  It sure was weird, though.

Have a great week, everyone!


  1. I once had a dream in which I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, I'd swallowed my pillow. (The old ones are the best - boom-boom.)