Sunday, May 17, 2015

Quiz Me

We see them all over the web.  They're on Facebook.  They're in ads on websites.  Our friends take them.  Our relatives take them.  They're the trivial meaningless personality quizzes that tell us all about ourselves.  And I took a bunch of them so you don't have to!  From

Which dessert are you?  "Pie.  Lover of tradition!  Even though you don't exactly enjoy getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things, you're one of those people that is just purely NICE.  Caring, kind, the works!  I bet you're great during the holidays, as well! ;-) )  Eric's note:  I love pie.

Does your IQ reveal that you are a genius?  "You are in the 140-150 range.  Genius intelligence."  Eric's note:  I always knew I was a genius.

Which American accent to you actually have?  "You have a New England accent!  You have yard sales and you know what a "pill bug" is!  "Mary," "merry," and "marry" might all sound differently to you, or you may say "merry" differently than the other two.  Interestingly, the New England accent is traditionally marked by its non-rhoticity (dropping r's) in words like car, card, fear, etc.  But this feature is disappearing!  Your accent is very unique!  While you're enjoying the beautiful Fall Colors, take pride in your awesome accent!"  Eric's note:  This doesn't come close to describing my answers to this quiz.  Mary, merry, and marry all sound the same to me.  I consider myself to be Western Pennsylvanian with a dash of Southwestern Virginia, whatever that means.  It's certainly nowhere near New England.

What is your most dominant character trait?  "Your Courage is your most dominant character trait!  You are a fearless individual, afraid of almost nothing.  This can most likely be attributed to your bold, confident attitude that you take everywhere with you, or perhaps you just really enjoy a good challenge!  Regardless, you laugh in the face of danger and you usually never turn down standing up for a cause that needs your strength and stability.  You have faith in yourself and a thick backbone, a perfect combination for facing any obstacle or wild adventure without fear right in front of you."  Eric's note:  I'm afraid they're wrong.  This is not even close.

Which animal do you transform into?  "Tiger.  You like to be alone a lot of the time but when you have children on your mind nothing is too good for them you will spoil them as much as you can no man nor woman will ever step over the line with you they'd only get a toe over the line before they are thrown back far away from the line you have no time for people who want to cause trouble you just want a nice and happy life without stress."  Eric's note:  What does this even mean???  No punctuation makes this just confusing gibberish.  And what does this have to do with a tiger?

How high maintenance are you?  "You're easy going and adaptable.  Although you are deeply in touch with your emotions, high maintenance is not a term that describes your personality.  Sure, you may have a particular set of preferences when it comes to living your life, but at the same time, you are able to accommodate the needs of others without being too rigid.  Rather than overreact and make a fuss, you are much more likely to go with the flow and keep a smile on your face.  You're the type of person that people like to be around because you keep it drama free and your view on life is generally optimistic and cheerful!"  Eric's note:  This is the first quiz that might be right on!  One of the questions asked which celebrity I would want to have dinner with.  Of the choices, I picked Tom Hanks, but I imagine Jennifer Lawrence would be interesting...

Which villain is actually your evil twin?  "Loki (from the Avengers).  You and Loki are loyal, have a strong sense of duty, and immense wisdom.  You are ambitious and want to make big changes in the world."  Eric's note:  Okay...

What is your subconscious obsessed with?  "Your subconscious is obsessed with SEX!  Yes, you've read it right, and no, it's not something to be ashamed of!  The answers you chose suggest that your subconscious mind is very occupied with sex.  You are a naturally sexual and loving person, you simply love to LOVE, and one of the biggest acts that you do with someone you love is sex.  Although your subconscious is obsessed with sex, you have a healthy way of life.  You do not get too carried away (although you sometimes wish you would), and you look for emotional attraction before you think about the physical one."  Eric's note:  "Hmmm... I took this quiz twice because I didn't like the answer the first time, but I still got the same answer with different choices.  Is it because I have not been intimate with anyone since my wife died 11 years ago?  Is my subconscious causing me to answer a certain way?  Am I really obsessed with sex?  I thought I was obsessed with pizza.  Or roller coasters.  Or Scarlett Johansson.  Or...oh, there it is...

What should your nickname be?  "Sweet Pea.  You're pretty and smell really really good. ;-)  You can make peasants smile (even when you're not there or they're really upset about their fake cows.)  You are sharp as a tack and little gets by you.  You never do less than your best with things you care about, and your stubbornness is to be admired.  True to your name, you love candy.  You're loyal and trustworthy and make eggheads feel safe to be themselves around you no matter how ridiculous that might be."  Eric's note:  I think this says it all..."

What would your high school report card look like today?  "Very impressive!  You got straight A's!  Perhaps it's thanks to your strong work ethic or simply because you're a natural born genius, but either way, you'll definitely be Valedictorian!  Time to apply for Harvard, kid!"  Eric's note:  No doubt...

How good is your memory?  "You have an incredible memory!  Impressive!  You remembered all of the photos!  You most likely have what's called an "eidetic" memory.  This means that you have a remarkable ability to recall images.  You pay attention to detail, you notice the small things, and you have a gut intuition that kicks in when you've seen something more than once.  You have a great analytic ability and you're a natural born problem solver."  Eric's note:  Now if I could only remember where I put my keys....

What kind of house should you live in?  "You should live in a house in the suburbs!  You dream of the white picket fence, 2 kids, a dog, the American dream!  You are pretty traditional and have strong values.  You are family oriented and would do anything for your loved ones.  A practical home like this is perfect for you!"  Eric's note:  They know me so well!

What kind of lover are you?  "You're an awesome lover!  With time and practice you can become wild. ;-)"  Eric's note:  Given my obvious obsession with sex, are you surprised?

What role do you play in your family?  "You're the perfect one!  Mature and sensible, you're the family's greatest success.  You're respectful and trustworthy, and considered to be the smart and capable one.  Although you may occasionally fear failure, your natural intellect and talent will take you far (and make your family look good)."  Eric's note:  I'm sure my younger sister and brother would agree...

What country in the world best fits your personality?  "India.  You are driven in life by the search for meaning and have a passion for culture and religion.  You are a deeply spiritual person who thrives in an environment where people question their existence and devote themselves to a higher sense of being.  You enjoy a stimulating environment and do best when you are challenged, mentally, and spiritually.  You see live as an adventure and enjoy conversing with others on the big philosophical questions of life.  Whether you are spending time in a bustling market, or meditating in a quiet garden, you are nourished by a society that is devoted to serving others."  Eric's note:  I agree with the write-up here more than the actual country.  As a Christian, I'm not sure India is the best match, unless I plan to live as Mother Teresa did (which we should all aspire to do).  While India certainly would be correct if you are a "deeply spiritual person," a deeply Christian person would likely find the Holy Land as a more stimulating environment, at least in my opinion.  Of course, take this with a grain of salt...I've never traveled outside of North America.

All right, I'm done.  Feel free to take the quizzes if you want.  They don't mean anything, though.  You are who you are, not what some quiz tells you you are.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!

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