Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Stupid Is As Stupid Does, and I'm With Stupid

I did something really stupid today.  I regularly do stupid things, so that's not unusual, but what I did sure is.  I threw my car key into the trash can at Chick-Fil-A.  My daughter and I went there for dinner this evening, and as we were leaving, I had a handful of trash.  I also had my key in my hand.  Just as I went to throw away the trash, a woman and her daughter walked by and stopped right in front of the trash can.  Since I now couldn't get to the trash can, I headed in the other direction, towards the exit, to throw my trash into a different can.  Before I went three steps, the woman and her daughter walked away, so I turned around and returned to the original can.  I threw away everything in my hand, including the key.  It didn't even occur to me that I was holding the key.  As we approached the exit, I reached into my coat pocket to get out my key, and realized it wasn't there.  I started to panic, and began to think about where it might be.  I thought that maybe I had thrown it in the trash can, so we went back.  I reached in the can and, sure enough, immediately found the key.  It was covered in ketchup.

Why did I do that?  I believe I was distracted by the woman and her daughter blocking me from the first trash can, and I just forgot I had the key in my hand.  How dumb is that?

(Speaking of Chick-Fil-A, they started putting blueberries in their fruit cups.  I love blueberries!  But they decided to take out the grapes!!!  I love grapes more than blueberries.  Why, Mr. Cathy?  Why!?!)

As I said, I've done a lot of stupid things.  I once drove up a narrow mountain road without guard rails despite having a fairly severe fear of heights, and I almost panicked while doing it, then was afraid I'd be stranded at the top.  I ate a Big Mac AND a McChicken sandwich almost everyday for lunch during my freshman year in college.  I drove 800 miles in my 1999 Eagle Talon, a car not designed for someone 6'2" to take a long-distance drive, in one day, St. Louis to DC, which killed my back.  I slipped on a "wet" spot on my kitchen floor caused by Faithful Pup Scout and broke my shoulder.  I bought the Culture Club Colour By Numbers album when I was a teen.  I drove into a dangerous storm with tornado activity without knowing it because I wasn't listening to the radio and despite howling winds, dark skies, and driving rain.  I allowed my wife to talk me into wearing a French maid costume for a Halloween party (I quickly vetoed that idea after seeing how ridiculous I looked...she loved it, though).  I split open the top of my head jumping over a couch in our family room and hitting the ceiling.  I skipped a class in college for most of the semester, thinking it would be easy, and then bombed on the final, getting the grade I deserved.  I had a pool party at my landlord's home without his permission.  I played tennis with my friends during a snowstorm.  I used to feed peanut M&Ms to Faithful Pup Ginger without knowing chocolate was dangerous for her to eat.  I drove my car into a curb because I took my eyes off the road (fortunately I was only going about 20 MPH).  I walked 26.2 miles in one day for the Avon Walk For Breast Cancer without any training whatsoever, and then couldn't walk for two days.  I tried to ski.  I tried to roller skate. I tried to ice skate.  I ate Lima beans. Blech. All of these stupid things, I did.

(By the way, "stupid" is a bad word, according to what I've taught my daughter.  It's the "s" word.)

So, what did I learn from all of that?  I learned that life happens.  Doing stupid things is normal, everyday stuff.  It can't be helped.  None of us are perfect.  So you can't cry over spilled milk.  Embrace your stupidity, but learn from it.  You are not a stupid person.  You, me, we are human and will stupid things.  We will DO stupid things, like I just did when I left the "do" out of the previous sentence.

Have a great stupid evening, everyone!

No comments:

Post a Comment