Thursday, January 18, 2018

Missing My Incredible Wife

Grief is such a powerful emotion.  I've been thinking about my wife, Teresa, a lot over the past few days, and it makes me just as sad as it makes me happy.  I lost her way too early in our marriage, just under five years in, and it sometimes just doesn't seem fair, even though there are no guarantees in life.  God promises eternal life, and our faith in and acceptance of our Lord and Savior will bring us to a new life after death, but our life here on planet Earth is full of challenges and sadness, joy and happiness, pain and sorrow.  The circumstances surrounding Teresa's death are tragic, for those of us left behind to live without her.  My daughter and I miss her everyday.

The best and worst part of parenthood is watching your child grow up.  I love seeing my daughter, Melody, grow into the wonderfully intelligent and talented young lady she's become.  I love being able to have incredible conversations with her about almost anything.  I love that she gets me, and I understand this teenager better than I would have expected.  I hate that she's not that little girl in the picture above anymore.  I hate that the shy, innocent, toddler is no longer so shy, nor innocent.  I hate that I can no longer sweep her off her feet, give her a hug and a kiss, and get giggles of laughter when I tickle her knees.  I love that she now gets slightly embarrassed when I give her a hug and kiss after one of her school band concerts in front of her classmates, but she still lets me do it.  I love being this girl's father.  No matter how inadequate I feel as a single dad, how can I not feel like she's turned out even better than I ever could have hoped?

Melody got a raw deal.  Life is life, and God blessed us so much, and I know He had His reasons for taking my wonderful wife and Melody's Mom, Teresa, from us when Melody was only five months old.  But it stinks that she was so young that she never knew her mom like I knew her, and was cheated out of a normal two-parent childhood.  Teresa loved Melody so much.  I wish Melody could see that now.  She only has me and her family and friends who knew Teresa to tell her stories of her life, and I hope Melody never stops being surprised by her mother's accomplishments.  And Melody has so many of Teresa's positive characteristics, like her smile, her humor, her loveliness, her talent, and her intelligence, just off the top of my head.

I wish Teresa could've lived long enough to see this beautiful human being we created grow into this incredible young lady.  I pray that Melody will come to know the Lord like her mom and me, and know that she will see her again one day.

Have a great evening, everyone.

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